The Fuck Friend

So my upcoming "date" tonight makes me think that it would just be easier to find someone to have sex with and be a spinster fo lyfe. I'm so over tonight and it hasn't even started. Yeah, I've got a bad attitude, what's it to you? I just don't like the idea of meeting someone for one of my favorite meals wearing a new outfit that I got for the occasion and then having to control the conversation because we have no connection. I have no hope for tonight. It's been a while since I've been out and some non-dating related life setbacks have put me in a shitty mood.

He seems nice enough. We will probably get along just fine. I'm just not feeling like myself.

A friend and I were talking about how we should start taking applications for men to have sex with. The list of qualifications you MUST have to just have sex with me is so much longer in the looks department than those who I will date. Dating I'm a little more open. If I'm only going to see you with your clothes off...best if you are the hottest man alive.

Another friend suggested I blog these requirements. She has good ideas.

-At least 6 feet tall
-A well proportioned dick. The length and girth have to work together. No pencil dicks or choads.
-Skinny or fit body MAYBE I will extend a special invitation to those who are not as fit if they offer something else.
-Attractive face
-Has to be open sexually but not obsessed with anal or threesomes
-Preferably dark hair
-Has to make me feel like the sexiest woman alive
-Must be willing to cuddle properly afterwards

Special consideration given to those with:

-Access to great wines or someone who makes amazing cocktails
-Tattoos
-Amazing oral skills
-If you have a cute dog that I can borrow (for NON sexual purposes of course)
-You are awesome and might actually want a relationship

A girl can dream.

Sushi Date

Wednesday there is a sushi date planned with a guy from OKCupid. I hate calling it a date. I hate that I kind of have a crush on him and I hate that I am already doubting myself. I hate that I have been looking for the perfect outfit when in reality nothing will be "perfect."

I feel like I have put my foot in my mouth recently with him. Given too much information. I should close up a little most likely. Let him figure things out on his own. I don't think I am fit to be in a relationship. Probably best to give up. haha. Be alone with the dogs forever and be a spinster. Lovely.

I'll report on how Wednesday goes.

Maybe....

This week I will meet a nice man and have dinner.

I will get up the balls to ask out the dude I have a crush on.

On Saturday I will flirt like there's no tomorrow with strangers I will never see again.

Putting on a semi-slutty outfit seems like a good idea because who really fucking cares what other people thing. I'm not ACTUALLY a slut.

Getting laid wouldn't be the end of the world.

He is on his way.