Oh For The Lack of Sex!!

My mom frequently tries to remind me that my "depression" or what I prefer to call just "times when I want to do nothing" is because I don't eat properly or because I am not getting to the gym enough. Yes, mom, you are right...most of the time. Right now though, it's because I'm not having sex. Not only am I not having sex but I am having horrible, uncomfortable dates with men who have nothing to offer! I at least need a mini relationship so I can get a little lovin and to regain a sense of love being out there.

I am finding the same thing over and over again here. Men who are nice, most in school or with an education, they love their family, don't have kids. There are downsides...many of them have just gotten out of relationships. They are confused and if I had to guess, lonely. I don't exactly do well with lonely. I'm not lonely.

I had a coffee thing with a guy who lives really close and we have a fair amount in common. (I have a fair amount in common with them all if you haven't noticed. Probably because I'm well rounded...what what!) He was recently dumped by a really plain looking girl who he was really interested in. Great. So we meet and in the middle of the coffee thing he seems more interested in this table of two women and not in a people watching way. Dude, come on. At least for an hour get to know me. So we haven't talked since then even though he made a point of saying "I will get in touch with you and I'd like to do this again." Don't say it if you don't mean it. So annoying.

The next day I went to a local college basketball game with the Econ guy. I need to stop hanging out with him until we get it straight that we are just friends. Maybe he finally gets it. I haven't figured it out yet. He gave me this strange hug when I got out of my car. Plus I really don't like the fact that he is a smoker. (But it's okay if those neighbor guys are. haha)

This is leading up to there being a dude who I am actually interested in, prior to meeting or anything. He doesn't seem scared to leave the state and appears to actually be doing something with life other than wanting a cushy job in a high rise, he has taken a risk. Made an independent film. Yes, you heard me right...how sexy is that? You can see why prior to our first meeting I am interested. I prefer men who could "do better" than me. I can't imagine I will be able to hold his interest for too long but I am sure as shit going to give it a shot.

A friend of mine has been having issues giving up a relationship with a dude that treats her so bad. She clearly deserves better but puts up with it because of who he is and their "connection." Since I have been there, done that I was thinking about how common it is for women to date the Connection Guy. I'll have to do an entire post on this theory and the fucked of nature of a relationship with the Connection Guy but I have decided I don't want to date another.

All I Want for Christmas

Really this isn't true but it sure would be nice to have someone to cuddle with this winter. It is getting damn cold in this city! I go back and forth on my apparent desperation, as I am not desperate at all but then again yeah it's possible I am.

I joined OK Cupid after reading another blog and I'm like shit fire!! Where did all these men come from. What a selection compared to Plenty of Fish! Hot boys, baby you've got what I want. They also seem less creeptastic and more normal. Sure, what is normal anyway but closer to the type of normal I'm looking for. I even have semi plans with one this weekend.

I feel very strongly that the Economics dude should have no feelings for me. It was made totally clear when we first got in touch that he wasn't looking for a relationship. Now I can barely enjoy our time together hanging out because he's acting all into me. I just don't like it.

Give Me a Spark

I am not feeling the spark at all. Maybe the spark is a desire for intimacy, physical and otherwise. I haven't found a man since the teacher who provided that. Mister Economics certainly is trying (the one who I only want to be friends with.) I got an invite to his house for a movie the other night. I can tell you, for the third "date" with the teacher...I jumped on the chance. This time with Econ, I passed. This should say something. I can't rally the spark that just isn't there.

I have a confession. My crush is on a law student friend I have had a while. Ugh. I swear, he....yum. I really like him. It's bad. Not long ago he tried to get me to confess my crush and in the process confessed his for me. I have no clue what he means when he says he has a crush, we are too old to be using those terms! I know it includes a sexual crush but I can't tell if there is a hint of anything else. He has become increasingly flirty and a little different. I suspect he is seeing someone (he indicated the possibility a few month ago) but he hasn't confirmed and I like to live in a fantasy land so I think I will not ask. This crush is abnormal but I so do not care. I think he might be the man of my dreams. I just found the spark, it is with the law student. I'm fucked.

At Least There Are Still Some Leaves on the Trees...For Now

When I am feeling really content with life sans man this blog suffers, really I think my other does as well. When it's all rainbows and unicorns who really wants to read that shit? Didn't you come here for the juicy details of my dating life, good and bad...not content. Ugh. Fuck me.

I still have the hots for the chef. Probably because he gives the most mixed signals ever. Let me rephrase that, I am reading way too much into his signals because I am so attracted to him. Something seriously sexy. He hasn't texted me since we met up, but he Facebook status comments frequently. UGH! So annoying. I am going with him not being interested because if I have learned anything, when a man wants something...he goes for it. Interested does not mean status commenting when you are bored. Again. So. Annoying.

Speaking of men being interested, a guy I went out with a few weeks ago under the knowledge he was just looking for friends appears to be really interested in me. Hmmmm. I really enjoyed his company but I would just want to be friends and he is saying things to indicate we are getting to know one another with the intention for there possibly being more. I feel nothing for this guy other than "Hey we could be really good friends, I like men friends.....that I'm not going to have sex with." Hopefully he can control himself. ;) First step, do not allow him to pay for dinner. To be honest, this is hard when I am broke and want to experience Charlotte cuisine. Hopefully he will get the hint before trying to go in for a kiss. I'm not looking to bruise his ego.

I went out Saturday with my little sister for my birthday and to watch the Ohio State/Michigan game. Go Bucks!! I'm glad the birthday went by with little said but plenty of beer. (After three large beverages, I was feeling pretty good) This was one I wasn't really looking forward to celebrating. Next year on the other hand....my last year in my 20s...it's on. So a nice young man, a mandolin player, sat down next to us and kept us company for a few hours. Boy did he make an impression on the sister and I! I've been hoping for a craigslist missed connection and my sister mentioned him yesterday! Hard pressed to find a man we both have the hots for. I will say, if he was interested he had a chance to get her number more than once when I was making my frequent trips to the restroom due to the ever shrinking size of my bladder. She did not leave me alone with the mandolin player. I'm going to go with the whole "if he is interested he will do what it takes" idea again and he would have asked for my number with her around. However, I think it was the first time I'd been out and actually met a man who kept my attention. He was adorable. I'd like to pretend he was feeling me. Oh! Woe is me for reals!

Dating in the dead of winter, I'm interested in seeing how this works out. I might have to go into hibernation until spring, where one can walk hand in hand with the man she fancies and be courted while every animal in town get busy making babies. Nah, I like a challenge and why wait?