This Doesn't Seem Right

Editors note: Between the time that this blog was halfway written and went to print the author is considering having sex with a semi random dude as a casual/friend with benefits thing. This blog speaks to all women, including the author and men who act like women.

I've decided to make my blogs rant like the past two days. I have a few things that I have been thinking about today. Some days I just go off. So this blogs title is:


Why Do Women Act Like Such Stupid Bitches?
 (Myself included sometimes apparently)


Pardon my francais but I really want to have the answer to this question. You've heard of a small percentage of my experience with men. They are dogs. They do some dumb shit sometimes but overall I would say men are generally good people. When as a woman you command respect.


This is the biggest issue. Women do not expect to be respected. They actually expect to be disrespected, so when a man does it it's not really a big deal. If he does it less than her previous boyfriend then he gets the honor of having her hand in marriage. Explain to me why anyone would want to be with someone who didn't demand respect? Or in essence not having any respect for yourself.


You let men cheat on you, you act like a selfish, self centered, whiny cunt who lacks confidence. Some of you let him physically beat you. Others allow verbal abuse. Most like myself, allow a man to use your body for his sexual pleasure. (This really appeals to me right now.)


What really got me thinking about this and really made me angry was my boss and her 30+ minute personal call that involved her telling her friend more than once how she was "better than that" and that she wasn't "raised that way." Don't forget she also shit talked the dude who apparently brought the drama in the first place. Wait what? No actually bitch you do deserve that and everything you got and no you aren't better than that because as my friend said...you spread your legs for that piece of trash. To cap it all off my boss and everyone knows it.


That raises another issue. The lies women tell each other. I would rather have someone be honest. Like "Hey, you are acting like a freak and allowing that guy to walk all over you. If you put up with his shit you get everything you deserve." But no, most women let the cycle continue. Ugh. Women are too busy tearing each other down instead of raising each other up. When your man cheats who do you want to kill? Yep, that bitch who slept with your man. This is totally backwards. While it is messed up if a woman slept with a man knowing he was in a relationship. Of course it is worse when you know here BUT shouldn't you be mad at him? He cheated on you. Going after the woman isn't going to do you any good because the problem is with your relationship, not with some other woman who seduced your man. Most of the time he went out looking. She didn't come after him.

Ladies, get your shit straight. He doesn't call you except to get laid because he doesn't want to date you, not because he is "busy with his kids" or "working late." He doesn't take you seriously. He might think you are hot but really...does that mean anything? I think that Ben Kenney is hot but do I want to have a lasting relationship with him? I find it hard to believe that some of you try and pass it off like you're "just doing you." Bitch no you are not. He is using you. Be real with yourself. You want to be more than a booty call. No man is worth that. If he doesn't make an effort with you now, he never will.

I will give you some of the best and most solid piece of advice I have ever realized.

When a man is interested, you will know it. He will make an effort. He will contact you for various reasons. He will make his intentions known. A man will make time for the things he wants. If he does not make time for you, he does not want you. Please stop fooling yourself. You will only end up hurt.

Not to take away from the point of the post (haha yikes) but I am having thoughts of having sex with a man I do not know and a man I do not intend on ever having a relationship with. This concerns me. Part of me wants to be a little rebellious while the other part says, stay on your course. I will keep you up to date on my decision. I really need to get laid and let loose a little. I am far too uptight and I'm starting to think this might actually help my search in finding something serious. Am I crazy?

Ummm Wow

So I've been taking a break. From dating mostly. Trying to focus on other things. I've applied for another job *fingers crossed* I've been sick and feel so horrible that I haven't lost much weight because of being sick and miss WAY too much time in the gym. I did make homemade pizza yesterday though.

My OKCupid profile reflects my frustrations. I like confidence and I know a confident enough man will realize that no matter how frustrated or jaded I sound, he might be the one to show me that there is good out there. I only need one.

So I'll share my current "self summary." I'm usually one who is all for the upbeat cutesy/flirty profile but I also get bored easily. So here it is:

It's official, I've become totally bored with what this site has to offer. Every man is in a band, that of course is not doing anything. No I don't want to be your Facebook friend. Too many shallow pools to wade through. I'd be pleasantly surprised to fall down a black hole at this point in terms of personality and what a man has to offer. At least it would have some depth.

My attitude comes from your lack of awesomeness, bring it and I'll gladly show you the real me.

I prefer the surreal to the real, sex with commitment over sex with some random hard body, skuzzy mother fucker and a PhD gets me wayyyyy wetter than a BMW.

Looking for:
-someone passionate, about something other than work...unless work is something wonderfully creative or selfless
-someone open to living somewhere else other than Charlotte.
-nerdy, dorky, quirky, an individual, liberal, silly...
-your vs you're ...please use them properly

My pictures are funny, I confess to rapping Baby Got Back in the 5th grade and how proud I am of my mommy for trying to text. There is more to the profile than just "BITCH."

I get this message today, "well aren't you just a pissy little cunt?" Really? Wow. Hmmmm. Classy. Super classy.

I love my response, "You kiss your mother with that mouth? I didn't message you or ask you to comment on my profile. If you actually read it you'd realize I'm not "pissy," instead more frustrated with a lack of real quality. Ever been a woman? Ever walked a mile in my shoes? Then I suggest keeping your mouth shut. Do you know how many times I've read things on peoples profiles that I was like "Wow how truly ignorant!" Instead of sending a message name calling, I MOVE ON. Something you should have done.

Let me quote your profile. "I have no desire to engage in anything negative." Hmmm, could have fooled me because while you disagree with my opinions (and that's exactly what they are) you have tried to give me a virtual slap on the wrist by calling me one of the most disrespectful things anyone can call a woman. You completely prove my point."

Don't.Fuck.Wit.Me. I could have gone off, I could have acted like a ghetto bitch but I didn't. Why do people feel the need to call me out? Because you are insecure? Because something I said offended you? This is where growing up and having some confidence comes into play. I've decided that who cares what someone says? Who cares if you aren't what I am looking for? Some woman will be impressed by your guitar, just not me. Why bother sending me a message name calling though?

On another note, I found my perfect engagement ring and wedding band. Haha.

Black Pearl

Yes, I realize this is not my usual blog but shit, yesterday I received a purchase in the mail that I am so in love with! Black Pearl perfume from Lush. They sold it for a day. They only made as much as was ordered. I am in love with it. So sexy and dark. One bottle will not last as long as I need it to. I'm fucked. Thankfully for Christmas I am getting Jean Paul Gaultier Classique. It is new to me as well. I miss my Dior Miss Cherie but I wanted to expand just a bit. See if I can get any positive reactions from these other options.

So OKCupid is so hilarious. Every man on there either plays music or takes pictures. It would be the perfect place to put a band of hot men together. The semi date didn't happen. We talk every day. I have no clue what's going on and I kind of don't care. I'd like to meet him but there are so many hot dudes out there!!

Last week I got a text at 3 in the morning. Thankfully, I didn't actually see that it came through until I woke up. All it said was "*E*?" The number wasn't familiar so I googled the area code. El Paso. I used to know a dude in El Paso. Years ago. He was a piece of shit. I'd long forgotten about him. He was texting me. WHY?????? Why me? Ugh!

He tried to play coy when I pretended I didn't know who Nick was. I acted like a bitch. He said "Look, I wanted to talk to you. Obviously my timing is priceless, but needless to say, I have had you on my mind." Ugh again. Really? Especially when you say "Look." Don't look me, asshole.

Some highlights:
-I helped form him into who he is (please if you are a shitty person..don't tell someone that.)
-He went through a whole bunch of bullshit and said through the entire thing he thought about me (Ew)
-He now has the opportunity to "make real the deals we arranged" Yeah. He means picking up where we left off and trying to work out a relationship

I just really found it all to be quite disturbing. Sometimes you should just drop something. When you have fucked up more than once and gone years without talking to someone, it's probably best to keep it that way. Back in the day I wasn't too good for you. These days, you don't deserve the person I have become. Thank you, please move on.

Proof Internet world, that they always come back. Always.

Bitch Fest #1 & HTB Letter

The #1 is a must since I imagine there will be more to come. I really don't know what the fuck happened but I am so bored/tired/irritated/pissy/bitchy/hating this whole single, seeking something more situation that I am in. The whole idea of meeting people is bullshit. It is especially stupid when you are harboring nonsensical feelings for some dude you really don't know. What have I become?

I believe part of this anger/resentment towards the entire process (which btw is kind of a large part of most every ones life) comes from the fact that first off, it's hard (and I work hard at so much) but for some people it seems to come easily. No this has nothing to do with looks or whatever shit you think I might blame it on. Some people are just blessed OR I guess we can also say maybe they have settled. It isn't for me to judge one way or another but if you are leading a life that appears to be perfect on the outside, I will assume as much. I'm having a pity party. I feel like there are a lot of things in life that have been hard, why does this have to be as well? The second reason is my best friend shared in her "blog reading list" a girl who writes letters to her "HTB" which stands for: Husband to Be. Now, there is more to the story as there isn't an actual husband to be, no ring on her finger or boyfriend. Just a fantasy. Maybe that is good enough. I'm not even sure how she expects to meet her husband to be, she just knows he is out there floating along and one day, BAM there it is.

Maybe I should start writing letters to my HTB, there are chicks my age looking for their second husbands to be. This whole idea about writing a letter to a future anything makes me jealous of her hope and angry at the man who will come along. My letters would not be as friendly and loving. (No this is not why I am single.) I will write a quick letter, tell me what you think.

Dear Asshole, oh excuse me I mean HTB,

Today is Tuesday and I have been doing quite a lot of thinking about you today, well maybe not exactly about you but about the men who could be you, were you in my mind for a period of time or would like to be you. Most of them do not fit the bill. In thinking about these not quite husband material men I get pissed at you. What the fuck is taking so long? I'm getting bored along with extremely sexually frustrated. I feel as though I have met all of the men needed to make an informed decision. Knowing what I imagine I know of you, you have met more than enough women to make a well informed decision as well. I repeat, more than enough.

I suspect you have been spending the last few months traipsing around with a few different girls, leading them on. Making them feel like they might have a shot at what you will in the end offer me. Why would you do that? You are wasting more than just your own time, but theirs and mine....something I do not appreciate.

If I *knew* that our future was set in stone I might not sound so much like a bitch, however you have decided to play the bachelor for as long as possible, forcing me to deny kisses from frogs that I KNOW aren't princes. I would say nice and wonderful things about you and our relationship but I don't know you or if I do I'm not currently seeing a future with you. I could talk about how nice it will be once we are together to take a trip to the mountains and stay in a cheesy ass cabin while it snows outside. No is not an option when it comes to candles, a fire and bubbles in the hot tub. Of course this weekend would be one big fuck fest but at least pretend to indulge my romantic side. I know it seems like a crazy idea to want to give into my silly whims but trust me, one day you will realize my happiness does mean a lot to you. Just stop being a stubborn prick.

Most likely you will blame our lack of a connection on me. Always. Any way to not have to take responsibility for making me wait and spend time with these jokers. I will forgive you since I'm sure something about you does something more than just make between my legs tingle. Maybe it is your eyes, smile or both. Shit if it's both I'm doomed, I will not be able to resist you.

So just stop doing some young thing who looks good with air between the ears and come home. The chihuahuas do better with a man around and again, if I don't get laid I might implode. Do you want to be the cause of my death?

Hope you hurry the fuck up,

Semi-Reformed Bad Girl

Yeah, it's like that.