This Doesn't Seem Right

Editors note: Between the time that this blog was halfway written and went to print the author is considering having sex with a semi random dude as a casual/friend with benefits thing. This blog speaks to all women, including the author and men who act like women.

I've decided to make my blogs rant like the past two days. I have a few things that I have been thinking about today. Some days I just go off. So this blogs title is:


Why Do Women Act Like Such Stupid Bitches?
 (Myself included sometimes apparently)


Pardon my francais but I really want to have the answer to this question. You've heard of a small percentage of my experience with men. They are dogs. They do some dumb shit sometimes but overall I would say men are generally good people. When as a woman you command respect.


This is the biggest issue. Women do not expect to be respected. They actually expect to be disrespected, so when a man does it it's not really a big deal. If he does it less than her previous boyfriend then he gets the honor of having her hand in marriage. Explain to me why anyone would want to be with someone who didn't demand respect? Or in essence not having any respect for yourself.


You let men cheat on you, you act like a selfish, self centered, whiny cunt who lacks confidence. Some of you let him physically beat you. Others allow verbal abuse. Most like myself, allow a man to use your body for his sexual pleasure. (This really appeals to me right now.)


What really got me thinking about this and really made me angry was my boss and her 30+ minute personal call that involved her telling her friend more than once how she was "better than that" and that she wasn't "raised that way." Don't forget she also shit talked the dude who apparently brought the drama in the first place. Wait what? No actually bitch you do deserve that and everything you got and no you aren't better than that because as my friend said...you spread your legs for that piece of trash. To cap it all off my boss and everyone knows it.


That raises another issue. The lies women tell each other. I would rather have someone be honest. Like "Hey, you are acting like a freak and allowing that guy to walk all over you. If you put up with his shit you get everything you deserve." But no, most women let the cycle continue. Ugh. Women are too busy tearing each other down instead of raising each other up. When your man cheats who do you want to kill? Yep, that bitch who slept with your man. This is totally backwards. While it is messed up if a woman slept with a man knowing he was in a relationship. Of course it is worse when you know here BUT shouldn't you be mad at him? He cheated on you. Going after the woman isn't going to do you any good because the problem is with your relationship, not with some other woman who seduced your man. Most of the time he went out looking. She didn't come after him.

Ladies, get your shit straight. He doesn't call you except to get laid because he doesn't want to date you, not because he is "busy with his kids" or "working late." He doesn't take you seriously. He might think you are hot but really...does that mean anything? I think that Ben Kenney is hot but do I want to have a lasting relationship with him? I find it hard to believe that some of you try and pass it off like you're "just doing you." Bitch no you are not. He is using you. Be real with yourself. You want to be more than a booty call. No man is worth that. If he doesn't make an effort with you now, he never will.

I will give you some of the best and most solid piece of advice I have ever realized.

When a man is interested, you will know it. He will make an effort. He will contact you for various reasons. He will make his intentions known. A man will make time for the things he wants. If he does not make time for you, he does not want you. Please stop fooling yourself. You will only end up hurt.

Not to take away from the point of the post (haha yikes) but I am having thoughts of having sex with a man I do not know and a man I do not intend on ever having a relationship with. This concerns me. Part of me wants to be a little rebellious while the other part says, stay on your course. I will keep you up to date on my decision. I really need to get laid and let loose a little. I am far too uptight and I'm starting to think this might actually help my search in finding something serious. Am I crazy?

Phone Lovin'

It was brought to my attention a few weeks ago from a friend of mine that we "used to have phone sex" and "I still think you are awesome anyway." This was an interesting statement because for one I haven't had phone sex in forever AND the fact that he would feel the need to tell me I was "awesome anyway" was an interesting addition to the first statement. Oh engineers, they always have a way of saying things in a way to make you feel like a skank.

I started thinking about it though. Phone sex has so many advantages. No STDs/pregnancy, it's pretty hard to get attached to someone via the phone, safest form of sex their is. I've been told I have a sexy voice so in the past getting laid over the phone was much easier than in person. I know, don't cry for me Argentina, I survived....partially because of all of the phone sex I had. I bet my phone sex partners out number those who actually got it in by double or triple.

Once I was so into it, a neighbor (or set of neighbors) stopped my roommate in the parking lot asking if everything in our apartment was okay. The conversation indicated a "picture fell off of their wall" and at first I didn't get it. Until I thought about it. Phone sex. They thought I was having actual sex. ha ha. Hopefully this isn't one of those stories my roommate created to tell me she was tired of hearing my escapades (which is total fair,) because I like the idea of neighbors thinking I am having wild kinky sex when in fact I was not.

The desire just isn't there anymore, I need something physical. Something to look at, touch, hold and the shape of a phone isn't exactly phallic enough for me. Of course it is still a good alternative for when your man is away and you'd like to share some fantasies or something, keep his attention. 

Phone sex is like "Sex Lite," like the free version of an iPhone application. Not the same but good enough to get you through.

To end this on a "It's all about me and I need my ego stroked" note: After bringing up the fact that I felt my engineer friend had basically admitted he thought I was a whore, he confessed his crush. I was flattered. He actually had a thing for me. Who knew.

Meat Market

So I have a little crush on the one I met with on Thursday. I did find tea. It was so amazingly fabulous. Maybe I had a crush on the tea. He is physically attractive with a great smile, a voice sent from the gods (I have a thing for a man with a sexy voice) and overall someone I would like to see again/get to know. I feel as though I made it clear I wanted to see him again. We will see, at this point it isn't looking promising. Sad face.

Saturday night I met my sister and her friend out at a bar/club/cougar town. It was the first time I have really been out since I moved here and the first time I've been to a straight persons "meat market" in years. You know the place.....men standing around scouting everything, judging....women wearing too much make-up, hair looking like they are going to prom and skirts up to the coochie. Yeah. Instead of standing, watching my sister drunk as shit...I would have rather sat my happy ass in a corner and people watched. Better yet I would have wanted to just go to a real bar. Made for drinking...not fucking. Apparently the laws do not permit that (something the chef told me Thursday) you have to sell food or a membership to serve liquor. What kind of city is this???

I enjoyed being more than slightly tipsy. I was to be honest, kind of drunk. Not hot mess drunk like my sister...I was able to keep it together. I came home wishing I was who I was a few years ago, skankalicious. I really could have used a good old fashion "Wanna Fuck?" text to some random dude in my phone. I'm glad I didn't but since I had been having the desire, the alcohol just made it worse. I felt as though I needed some kind of validation since at the bar there was this old ass white lady grinding with this fine ass black man...apparently the cougar is in full force in this town. Maybe I should remind myself I have something to look forward to when I am old. Some BBC.

I realized that I have made the right decision to seek dudes on the Internet. It is far less degrading than finding some scuzzy/sleazy/nasty dude at the meat market.

We're Havin A Bubble Bath

I can't be the only one who sees Facebook as a crock of shit. I do play along. Sometimes I get a kick out of what I see on there or the occasional post that busts someone out. I'm the Facebook bitch. My guess is because I really find it to be a place where people brag about what they have or complain about what they don't. I'm guilty of that. Prior to this blog I was in a really short relationship/dating thing that went up in straight flames, felt like the worst ever. One day everything was great and we were heading towards love...the next I was straight up dumped. During that period of time I let the world....or Facebook know what I was going through. I think it is the reason why I decided to start this blog. If I felt that there was a place for me to vent all of my shit I maybe wouldn't have exposed as many people to my heartache.

Okay, with all that being said...since apparently I am getting off topic....Facebook proves to me that I am grateful to be single at almost 28 years old. I am Facebook friends with a girl I went to high school with who is married to her high school sweetheart and he is the reason for this post. Her husband was not the best looking guy in town, but certainly the best looking of all of his friends and she had the best looking man of all of her friends. I don't know what happened to him, maybe it is purely weight gain but he has NOT aged well at all. His 20s were not kind to him at all.

While overall it would be nice to have a man, an actual man. Not just someone with a penis, penis is nice don't get me wrong but I can get that anytime. I'm really getting off topic today, I just am glad I have lived, experienced different men and I am grateful to not be one of those who married her high school sweetheart.

I had a "date" Saturday. (I really dislike that term.) We went to see a movie and the spark wasn't there. (Meaning we weren't physically attracted to each other. Ha!) Probably partially because he decided to see a movie. Hello, you won't get to know me that way! One way or another he is a nice enough guy. We both agreed that there wasn't anything there. I like to agree. It kind of sucks because he is a cuddler. I LOVE to cuddle. I offered my friendship...he didn't seem too interested in that. Eh. I considered offering him a blow job but then I realized I didn't want to suck him.

Thursday I am supposed to be having a meet up with a chef who owns a chihuahua. Perfect. I love to eat and if you throw in my chihuahuas, it's a party. Fingers crossed this is the time when I find tea. Yes, this is a tea exploration meet up. I'm looking forward to this one. He seems like the type who is just going to be himself. Take it or leave it. Open minded and interesting.

I talked with the ex last night and felt like I was almost in love again. He sounded great, happy and like he actually wanted to talk with me. This really is one of those situations where I wish it would have worked out but not matter how hard we try, it just probably never will. It's frustrating. I think he still holds out hope for us. There is a part of me that does as well.

I posted a craigslist ad, let's see what comes of this. I've realized craigslist is a bunch of new men in town. Get them while their hot!!

Camera Man Post #1

Flaky! It is amazing how quickly a man can change his mind. This time yesterday I set up a date for this evening with a 38 year old camera man. Yeah, I know over 10 years older isn't exactly what I am looking for but he seemed fun and interesting.

This morning I get a text "I thought my friend's bday party was next week, but it's tonight. Can we plan for early next week? I'm so sorry."

My first thought: Bullshit.

The night before he was ALL about some Semi-Reformed Bad Girl then last night...nothing. If you go from "Oh you are so adorable, I can't wait to spend time together." to nothing the next night. Red Flag. The night before he even in a kind of crazy way said "I believe everything happens for a reason." Wow really? Let's not go there at least until we meet.

I'll allow him to take me out early next week but I'm willing to bet money it never happens.

Sorry, You're Too Skinny

Over the past 24 hours I have had one of the most interesting conversations that I have had in a while. While I try to really not get too down on the fact that people are so concerned with looks it gets really hard when things like this happen. Mind you, I have had my fair share of men. I'm not every dudes cup of tea but a wide variety have found themselves attracted not only mentally but physically. I'm a cute/hot/beautiful/interesting/sweet/kind... woman. Period.


So I am trying to open myself up to different kinds of men, you know we all have our preferences but if I stuck with that I might be limiting myself and really selling myself short. So I went out on a limb and messaged a guy with one picture (usually it's best to be able to see more than one cause, well... you know.) He seemed interesting and I thought we could have some things in common. Not exactly my style guy but that's really okay, there weren't any glaring physical issues that I was just like NO about.


This is the response I get back:


Look at you, lots of checks in my compatibility column. Well done. Here's the thing, and this is all me. I'm pretty much only interested in plus size chicks. I need to go back and mention that in my bio thingy. From what i can tell, you're not plus size...so it's a bit of an issue. With that, you are very attractive and very much my kind of gal.


My initial reaction was "Bullshit." For more than one reason.

Now maybe this is the time when I should mention that I am not small. By any means. Actually considered "plus size" by most standards. A size 14 in fact. Also I have lost 50 pounds, formerly a size 24 and very proud of the physical changes and accomplishments I've made over the last almost 2 years. I have every intention of continuing the trend and losing another at least 30 pounds if not more. You can guess that for a lot of my life I was told "You have a cute face but I'm not into plus size girls." It still stings.


So I asked this guy to define "plus size" for me. Because if you want someone my former size, well that isn't going to happen but again technically I do fall into that category.


The response:


I'm not as superficial as it prob seems, im not super specific. I just find the rubenesque figure more feminine that the typical smaller chick. Just me, it's the curves and softness i guess. I blame this ideal on my figure drawing classes in school. The bigger women were more interesting.


Well, yeah okay. That isn't exactly specific and what you are describing could definitely be me. Curves...check. Softness...as much as I hate to admit it...check. Not a smaller chick....check. Interesting?....Oh fo sho!


At this point I'm still being polite. As offended as I am for not being fat enough (go figure right?) I'm thinking maybe he's just confused. My best friend did indicate my shoulders appear to be much smaller than in the past and most of my pictures are head shots. Most of my weight loss is shown in my face.


Then he wanted proof of my size. ::eye roll:: At this point I remembered why I sent him the first message. Thinking we could get along on a deeper level. Then I remember his first message which starts with "I'm not as superficial as it probably seems." Actually, yeah. This is probably the most superficial man in his 30s I have ever met. I'm thinking, "If you give a mouse a cookie." If he wants to judge me based on how fat or not fat I am, next my fat isn't going to be in the "right" places. That is where I decided to draw the line.

In his next message he accused me of lying about my size. Saying that other women told him they were "plus size" when in fact they weren't. Who does that? Sorry but you haven't shown me you are interesting or good looking enough for me to claim to weigh more than I do, especially after how hard I have worked to lose weight.

It all fell apart from here. Went completely downhill and I was just like okay. We have reached the point of no return. Clearly this is a fetish (which of course he claimed it wasn't..uhhh o-kay) and you have these notions about who I am that clearly aren't going away. Still giggling that the notions involve me being "too skinny."

I feel as though I should add this to my list of "Cons" of online dating. The man who clearly can't see past the physical or is too stubborn to even open his eyes. They claim they don't want to waste their time. Ummm tell me sir, what better do you have to do with your time? You've spent probably more than an hour messaging me at this point. If we meet you have nothing to lose, I pay for myself so there isn't any obligation. Cha-ching you aren't losing money. I make wonderful conversation and have a great time. I haven't had a first date not want a second. Proof is in the pudding asshole. So you spend an hour with someone who isn't physically your type, even though you are attracted to me (still confused) you aren't losing or wasting anything. Shallowness at it's finest.

I have the last laugh in this case because clearly he would have fallen in love if we'd met. Sucka.