This post has nothing to do with dating at all and everything to do with drinking. I drink almost better than I date and boy do I date well, or so it's been decided. I'm a professional at both.
Speaking of professional. Currently my big girl job is in the travel industry so I hear a lot of crazy travel stories and the most recent that I heard yesterday was about the dude who was so drunk on a plane that he pissed on an 11 year old girl.
My first thought, perv. Who has ever been drunk enough to piss not in a place that resembles a bathroom or parking lot and on a little girl? No. Sorry. I have a really hard time believe this fucking story. Dude is a total perv. I've been really drunk and the worst place I pissed, parking lot with fat ass facing main road in town where cops, drunks, drug addicts and homeless could see. It was a quick drop of the pants (which I'm sure were tight) and squat in said tight pants then all in one swift move I stood up, pulling up my pants to hop in the car and button/zip. Haven't we all done that? Okay. How many of you have pissed on an 11 year old in a plane. Thought so.
Well the story was brought up again today at work, of course we have nothing else to talk about. Fuck world peace and crumbling societies. Ha. The new news today was that he was 18 and why did they let him on the plane? Where did he get his alcohol from? To answer the latter question...where do most 18 year olds get their alcohol from? This really shouldn't even be a question. As to the second question I have a very simple answer. While he may be a perv, he's a professional.
It reminded me of a few months ago for a friends birthday we were so drunk. We both have very small bladders and couldn't make it to the bar to pee. Her boyfriend at the time was driving, sober but still letting us call the shots. On the right hand side came the ER to the local hospital downtown. It's a well respected place apparently. He drives up to the little men in the ticket place who tell us the large men at the front door need to approve our using of the bathroom. I'm not exactly one who likes needing approval. Even in my drunken state (I swear I'm smarter when I shit faced) I realized the men in the little booth and the men at the front didn't speak. Plus my friend is wearing a short sequin skirt. So we walk in. Hello sirs. Then we walk to the front desk, I politely ask where their restroom is and proceed to do what we came to do, no approval needed. As we walk out, "Have a nice evening."
That is how you are let on a plane drunk as fuck. Again it's called professional. Swagger. When I'm drunk, I've got it.
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