My mom frequently tries to remind me that my "depression" or what I prefer to call just "times when I want to do nothing" is because I don't eat properly or because I am not getting to the gym enough. Yes, mom, you are right...most of the time. Right now though, it's because I'm not having sex. Not only am I not having sex but I am having horrible, uncomfortable dates with men who have nothing to offer! I at least need a mini relationship so I can get a little lovin and to regain a sense of love being out there.
I am finding the same thing over and over again here. Men who are nice, most in school or with an education, they love their family, don't have kids. There are downsides...many of them have just gotten out of relationships. They are confused and if I had to guess, lonely. I don't exactly do well with lonely. I'm not lonely.
I had a coffee thing with a guy who lives really close and we have a fair amount in common. (I have a fair amount in common with them all if you haven't noticed. Probably because I'm well rounded...what what!) He was recently dumped by a really plain looking girl who he was really interested in. Great. So we meet and in the middle of the coffee thing he seems more interested in this table of two women and not in a people watching way. Dude, come on. At least for an hour get to know me. So we haven't talked since then even though he made a point of saying "I will get in touch with you and I'd like to do this again." Don't say it if you don't mean it. So annoying.
The next day I went to a local college basketball game with the Econ guy. I need to stop hanging out with him until we get it straight that we are just friends. Maybe he finally gets it. I haven't figured it out yet. He gave me this strange hug when I got out of my car. Plus I really don't like the fact that he is a smoker. (But it's okay if those neighbor guys are. haha)
This is leading up to there being a dude who I am actually interested in, prior to meeting or anything. He doesn't seem scared to leave the state and appears to actually be doing something with life other than wanting a cushy job in a high rise, he has taken a risk. Made an independent film. Yes, you heard me right...how sexy is that? You can see why prior to our first meeting I am interested. I prefer men who could "do better" than me. I can't imagine I will be able to hold his interest for too long but I am sure as shit going to give it a shot.
A friend of mine has been having issues giving up a relationship with a dude that treats her so bad. She clearly deserves better but puts up with it because of who he is and their "connection." Since I have been there, done that I was thinking about how common it is for women to date the Connection Guy. I'll have to do an entire post on this theory and the fucked of nature of a relationship with the Connection Guy but I have decided I don't want to date another.
Tuesday, December 28, 2010
Tuesday, December 21, 2010
2 Smokin Hot Smokers
As a former smoker, I kind of ...hmmmm. Well not only do I notice smoke quite a bit but I also still find something about smoking to be super appealing and kind of sexy. I don't want to be a smoker again. I just want to play with fire, so to speak...every so often. Am I aware smoking isn't sexy? Yes. Do I care? Not really.
There are these two hotties that live in my apartment complex, one in the same building and the other a building over. I find them to both be very sexy and kind of strange. I am stalking them both. They both smoke.
I have put together information I have gathered about the one who lives the building over from what I have observed since I moved in. He drives a BMW and when I first noticed him, he was with a little blonde quite a bit. I also noticed on his nice car a sticker for a localcult...church. Not into the church type. Well she stopped hanging around and the sticker came off of the car. He appears to have a job that he travels a lot for and he has a strange haircut. It's almost too rounded in the back. He seems to spend a lot of time on it, product and such. He smokes before heading to work, outside of his car. Sometimes I want to stand there with him and the dogs, smoking before work. I also wouldn't mind taking a puff of his....well. You can assume.
The second on is new. My assigned spot is right in front of his patio. The dogs and I almost ran into him the other day, he's really cute. Tall. YUM! I like looking into his apartment. I think he should keep his blinds closed. He also smokes outside but what seems to be the most curious is the fact that when someone comes outside he ducks down where no one can see him. WTF? IF you are going to closet smoke, you might want to do it in your home. I don't fully understand.
I'd like to take both of these guys for a spin then have a smoke afterwards. Convenient fucks.
I have a coffee "date" tonight. I have reservations to say the least. These bastards are driving me nuts.
There are these two hotties that live in my apartment complex, one in the same building and the other a building over. I find them to both be very sexy and kind of strange. I am stalking them both. They both smoke.
I have put together information I have gathered about the one who lives the building over from what I have observed since I moved in. He drives a BMW and when I first noticed him, he was with a little blonde quite a bit. I also noticed on his nice car a sticker for a local
The second on is new. My assigned spot is right in front of his patio. The dogs and I almost ran into him the other day, he's really cute. Tall. YUM! I like looking into his apartment. I think he should keep his blinds closed. He also smokes outside but what seems to be the most curious is the fact that when someone comes outside he ducks down where no one can see him. WTF? IF you are going to closet smoke, you might want to do it in your home. I don't fully understand.
I'd like to take both of these guys for a spin then have a smoke afterwards. Convenient fucks.
I have a coffee "date" tonight. I have reservations to say the least. These bastards are driving me nuts.
Tuesday, December 14, 2010
Black Pearl
Yes, I realize this is not my usual blog but shit, yesterday I received a purchase in the mail that I am so in love with! Black Pearl perfume from Lush. They sold it for a day. They only made as much as was ordered. I am in love with it. So sexy and dark. One bottle will not last as long as I need it to. I'm fucked. Thankfully for Christmas I am getting Jean Paul Gaultier Classique. It is new to me as well. I miss my Dior Miss Cherie but I wanted to expand just a bit. See if I can get any positive reactions from these other options.
So OKCupid is so hilarious. Every man on there either plays music or takes pictures. It would be the perfect place to put a band of hot men together. The semi date didn't happen. We talk every day. I have no clue what's going on and I kind of don't care. I'd like to meet him but there are so many hot dudes out there!!
Last week I got a text at 3 in the morning. Thankfully, I didn't actually see that it came through until I woke up. All it said was "*E*?" The number wasn't familiar so I googled the area code. El Paso. I used to know a dude in El Paso. Years ago. He was a piece of shit. I'd long forgotten about him. He was texting me. WHY?????? Why me? Ugh!
He tried to play coy when I pretended I didn't know who Nick was. I acted like a bitch. He said "Look, I wanted to talk to you. Obviously my timing is priceless, but needless to say, I have had you on my mind." Ugh again. Really? Especially when you say "Look." Don't look me, asshole.
Some highlights:
-I helped form him into who he is (please if you are a shitty person..don't tell someone that.)
-He went through a whole bunch of bullshit and said through the entire thing he thought about me (Ew)
-He now has the opportunity to "make real the deals we arranged" Yeah. He means picking up where we left off and trying to work out a relationship
I just really found it all to be quite disturbing. Sometimes you should just drop something. When you have fucked up more than once and gone years without talking to someone, it's probably best to keep it that way. Back in the day I wasn't too good for you. These days, you don't deserve the person I have become. Thank you, please move on.
Proof Internet world, that they always come back. Always.
So OKCupid is so hilarious. Every man on there either plays music or takes pictures. It would be the perfect place to put a band of hot men together. The semi date didn't happen. We talk every day. I have no clue what's going on and I kind of don't care. I'd like to meet him but there are so many hot dudes out there!!
Last week I got a text at 3 in the morning. Thankfully, I didn't actually see that it came through until I woke up. All it said was "*E*?" The number wasn't familiar so I googled the area code. El Paso. I used to know a dude in El Paso. Years ago. He was a piece of shit. I'd long forgotten about him. He was texting me. WHY?????? Why me? Ugh!
He tried to play coy when I pretended I didn't know who Nick was. I acted like a bitch. He said "Look, I wanted to talk to you. Obviously my timing is priceless, but needless to say, I have had you on my mind." Ugh again. Really? Especially when you say "Look." Don't look me, asshole.
Some highlights:
-I helped form him into who he is (please if you are a shitty person..don't tell someone that.)
-He went through a whole bunch of bullshit and said through the entire thing he thought about me (Ew)
-He now has the opportunity to "make real the deals we arranged" Yeah. He means picking up where we left off and trying to work out a relationship
I just really found it all to be quite disturbing. Sometimes you should just drop something. When you have fucked up more than once and gone years without talking to someone, it's probably best to keep it that way. Back in the day I wasn't too good for you. These days, you don't deserve the person I have become. Thank you, please move on.
Proof Internet world, that they always come back. Always.
Friday, December 10, 2010
All I Want for Christmas
Really this isn't true but it sure would be nice to have someone to cuddle with this winter. It is getting damn cold in this city! I go back and forth on my apparent desperation, as I am not desperate at all but then again yeah it's possible I am.
I joined OK Cupid after reading another blog and I'm like shit fire!! Where did all these men come from. What a selection compared to Plenty of Fish! Hot boys, baby you've got what I want. They also seem less creeptastic and more normal. Sure, what is normal anyway but closer to the type of normal I'm looking for. I even have semi plans with one this weekend.
I feel very strongly that the Economics dude should have no feelings for me. It was made totally clear when we first got in touch that he wasn't looking for a relationship. Now I can barely enjoy our time together hanging out because he's acting all into me. I just don't like it.
I joined OK Cupid after reading another blog and I'm like shit fire!! Where did all these men come from. What a selection compared to Plenty of Fish! Hot boys, baby you've got what I want. They also seem less creeptastic and more normal. Sure, what is normal anyway but closer to the type of normal I'm looking for. I even have semi plans with one this weekend.
I feel very strongly that the Economics dude should have no feelings for me. It was made totally clear when we first got in touch that he wasn't looking for a relationship. Now I can barely enjoy our time together hanging out because he's acting all into me. I just don't like it.
Tuesday, December 7, 2010
Bitch Fest #1 & HTB Letter
The #1 is a must since I imagine there will be more to come. I really don't know what the fuck happened but I am so bored/tired/irritated/pissy/bitchy/hating this whole single, seeking something more situation that I am in. The whole idea of meeting people is bullshit. It is especially stupid when you are harboring nonsensical feelings for some dude you really don't know. What have I become?
I believe part of this anger/resentment towards the entire process (which btw is kind of a large part of most every ones life) comes from the fact that first off, it's hard (and I work hard at so much) but for some people it seems to come easily. No this has nothing to do with looks or whatever shit you think I might blame it on. Some people are just blessed OR I guess we can also say maybe they have settled. It isn't for me to judge one way or another but if you are leading a life that appears to be perfect on the outside, I will assume as much. I'm having a pity party. I feel like there are a lot of things in life that have been hard, why does this have to be as well? The second reason is my best friend shared in her "blog reading list" a girl who writes letters to her "HTB" which stands for: Husband to Be. Now, there is more to the story as there isn't an actual husband to be, no ring on her finger or boyfriend. Just a fantasy. Maybe that is good enough. I'm not even sure how she expects to meet her husband to be, she just knows he is out there floating along and one day, BAM there it is.
Maybe I should start writing letters to my HTB, there are chicks my age looking for their second husbands to be. This whole idea about writing a letter to a future anything makes me jealous of her hope and angry at the man who will come along. My letters would not be as friendly and loving. (No this is not why I am single.) I will write a quick letter, tell me what you think.
Dear Asshole, oh excuse me I mean HTB,
Today is Tuesday and I have been doing quite a lot of thinking about you today, well maybe not exactly about you but about the men who could be you, were you in my mind for a period of time or would like to be you. Most of them do not fit the bill. In thinking about these not quite husband material men I get pissed at you. What the fuck is taking so long? I'm getting bored along with extremely sexually frustrated. I feel as though I have met all of the men needed to make an informed decision. Knowing what I imagine I know of you, you have met more than enough women to make a well informed decision as well. I repeat, more than enough.
I suspect you have been spending the last few months traipsing around with a few different girls, leading them on. Making them feel like they might have a shot at what you will in the end offer me. Why would you do that? You are wasting more than just your own time, but theirs and mine....something I do not appreciate.
If I *knew* that our future was set in stone I might not sound so much like a bitch, however you have decided to play the bachelor for as long as possible, forcing me to deny kisses from frogs that I KNOW aren't princes. I would say nice and wonderful things about you and our relationship but I don't know you or if I do I'm not currently seeing a future with you. I could talk about how nice it will be once we are together to take a trip to the mountains and stay in a cheesy ass cabin while it snows outside. No is not an option when it comes to candles, a fire and bubbles in the hot tub. Of course this weekend would be one big fuck fest but at least pretend to indulge my romantic side. I know it seems like a crazy idea to want to give into my silly whims but trust me, one day you will realize my happiness does mean a lot to you. Just stop being a stubborn prick.
Most likely you will blame our lack of a connection on me. Always. Any way to not have to take responsibility for making me wait and spend time with these jokers. I will forgive you since I'm sure something about you does something more than just make between my legs tingle. Maybe it is your eyes, smile or both. Shit if it's both I'm doomed, I will not be able to resist you.
So just stop doing some young thing who looks good with air between the ears and come home. The chihuahuas do better with a man around and again, if I don't get laid I might implode. Do you want to be the cause of my death?
Hope you hurry the fuck up,
Semi-Reformed Bad Girl
Yeah, it's like that.
I believe part of this anger/resentment towards the entire process (which btw is kind of a large part of most every ones life) comes from the fact that first off, it's hard (and I work hard at so much) but for some people it seems to come easily. No this has nothing to do with looks or whatever shit you think I might blame it on. Some people are just blessed OR I guess we can also say maybe they have settled. It isn't for me to judge one way or another but if you are leading a life that appears to be perfect on the outside, I will assume as much. I'm having a pity party. I feel like there are a lot of things in life that have been hard, why does this have to be as well? The second reason is my best friend shared in her "blog reading list" a girl who writes letters to her "HTB" which stands for: Husband to Be. Now, there is more to the story as there isn't an actual husband to be, no ring on her finger or boyfriend. Just a fantasy. Maybe that is good enough. I'm not even sure how she expects to meet her husband to be, she just knows he is out there floating along and one day, BAM there it is.
Maybe I should start writing letters to my HTB, there are chicks my age looking for their second husbands to be. This whole idea about writing a letter to a future anything makes me jealous of her hope and angry at the man who will come along. My letters would not be as friendly and loving. (No this is not why I am single.) I will write a quick letter, tell me what you think.
Dear Asshole, oh excuse me I mean HTB,
Today is Tuesday and I have been doing quite a lot of thinking about you today, well maybe not exactly about you but about the men who could be you, were you in my mind for a period of time or would like to be you. Most of them do not fit the bill. In thinking about these not quite husband material men I get pissed at you. What the fuck is taking so long? I'm getting bored along with extremely sexually frustrated. I feel as though I have met all of the men needed to make an informed decision. Knowing what I imagine I know of you, you have met more than enough women to make a well informed decision as well. I repeat, more than enough.
I suspect you have been spending the last few months traipsing around with a few different girls, leading them on. Making them feel like they might have a shot at what you will in the end offer me. Why would you do that? You are wasting more than just your own time, but theirs and mine....something I do not appreciate.
If I *knew* that our future was set in stone I might not sound so much like a bitch, however you have decided to play the bachelor for as long as possible, forcing me to deny kisses from frogs that I KNOW aren't princes. I would say nice and wonderful things about you and our relationship but I don't know you or if I do I'm not currently seeing a future with you. I could talk about how nice it will be once we are together to take a trip to the mountains and stay in a cheesy ass cabin while it snows outside. No is not an option when it comes to candles, a fire and bubbles in the hot tub. Of course this weekend would be one big fuck fest but at least pretend to indulge my romantic side. I know it seems like a crazy idea to want to give into my silly whims but trust me, one day you will realize my happiness does mean a lot to you. Just stop being a stubborn prick.
Most likely you will blame our lack of a connection on me. Always. Any way to not have to take responsibility for making me wait and spend time with these jokers. I will forgive you since I'm sure something about you does something more than just make between my legs tingle. Maybe it is your eyes, smile or both. Shit if it's both I'm doomed, I will not be able to resist you.
So just stop doing some young thing who looks good with air between the ears and come home. The chihuahuas do better with a man around and again, if I don't get laid I might implode. Do you want to be the cause of my death?
Hope you hurry the fuck up,
Semi-Reformed Bad Girl
Yeah, it's like that.
Monday, December 6, 2010
Give Me a Spark
I am not feeling the spark at all. Maybe the spark is a desire for intimacy, physical and otherwise. I haven't found a man since the teacher who provided that. Mister Economics certainly is trying (the one who I only want to be friends with.) I got an invite to his house for a movie the other night. I can tell you, for the third "date" with the teacher...I jumped on the chance. This time with Econ, I passed. This should say something. I can't rally the spark that just isn't there.
I have a confession. My crush is on a law student friend I have had a while. Ugh. I swear, he....yum. I really like him. It's bad. Not long ago he tried to get me to confess my crush and in the process confessed his for me. I have no clue what he means when he says he has a crush, we are too old to be using those terms! I know it includes a sexual crush but I can't tell if there is a hint of anything else. He has become increasingly flirty and a little different. I suspect he is seeing someone (he indicated the possibility a few month ago) but he hasn't confirmed and I like to live in a fantasy land so I think I will not ask. This crush is abnormal but I so do not care. I think he might be the man of my dreams. I just found the spark, it is with the law student. I'm fucked.
I have a confession. My crush is on a law student friend I have had a while. Ugh. I swear, he....yum. I really like him. It's bad. Not long ago he tried to get me to confess my crush and in the process confessed his for me. I have no clue what he means when he says he has a crush, we are too old to be using those terms! I know it includes a sexual crush but I can't tell if there is a hint of anything else. He has become increasingly flirty and a little different. I suspect he is seeing someone (he indicated the possibility a few month ago) but he hasn't confirmed and I like to live in a fantasy land so I think I will not ask. This crush is abnormal but I so do not care. I think he might be the man of my dreams. I just found the spark, it is with the law student. I'm fucked.
Tuesday, November 30, 2010
At Least There Are Still Some Leaves on the Trees...For Now
When I am feeling really content with life sans man this blog suffers, really I think my other does as well. When it's all rainbows and unicorns who really wants to read that shit? Didn't you come here for the juicy details of my dating life, good and bad...not content. Ugh. Fuck me.
I still have the hots for the chef. Probably because he gives the most mixed signals ever. Let me rephrase that, I am reading way too much into his signals because I am so attracted to him. Something seriously sexy. He hasn't texted me since we met up, but he Facebook status comments frequently. UGH! So annoying. I am going with him not being interested because if I have learned anything, when a man wants something...he goes for it. Interested does not mean status commenting when you are bored. Again. So. Annoying.
Speaking of men being interested, a guy I went out with a few weeks ago under the knowledge he was just looking for friends appears to be really interested in me. Hmmmm. I really enjoyed his company but I would just want to be friends and he is saying things to indicate we are getting to know one another with the intention for there possibly being more. I feel nothing for this guy other than "Hey we could be really good friends, I like men friends.....that I'm not going to have sex with." Hopefully he can control himself. ;) First step, do not allow him to pay for dinner. To be honest, this is hard when I am broke and want to experience Charlotte cuisine. Hopefully he will get the hint before trying to go in for a kiss. I'm not looking to bruise his ego.
I went out Saturday with my little sister for my birthday and to watch the Ohio State/Michigan game. Go Bucks!! I'm glad the birthday went by with little said but plenty of beer. (After three large beverages, I was feeling pretty good) This was one I wasn't really looking forward to celebrating. Next year on the other hand....my last year in my 20s...it's on. So a nice young man, a mandolin player, sat down next to us and kept us company for a few hours. Boy did he make an impression on the sister and I! I've been hoping for a craigslist missed connection and my sister mentioned him yesterday! Hard pressed to find a man we both have the hots for. I will say, if he was interested he had a chance to get her number more than once when I was making my frequent trips to the restroom due to the ever shrinking size of my bladder. She did not leave me alone with the mandolin player. I'm going to go with the whole "if he is interested he will do what it takes" idea again and he would have asked for my number with her around. However, I think it was the first time I'd been out and actually met a man who kept my attention. He was adorable. I'd like to pretend he was feeling me. Oh! Woe is me for reals!
Dating in the dead of winter, I'm interested in seeing how this works out. I might have to go into hibernation until spring, where one can walk hand in hand with the man she fancies and be courted while every animal in town get busy making babies. Nah, I like a challenge and why wait?
I still have the hots for the chef. Probably because he gives the most mixed signals ever. Let me rephrase that, I am reading way too much into his signals because I am so attracted to him. Something seriously sexy. He hasn't texted me since we met up, but he Facebook status comments frequently. UGH! So annoying. I am going with him not being interested because if I have learned anything, when a man wants something...he goes for it. Interested does not mean status commenting when you are bored. Again. So. Annoying.
Speaking of men being interested, a guy I went out with a few weeks ago under the knowledge he was just looking for friends appears to be really interested in me. Hmmmm. I really enjoyed his company but I would just want to be friends and he is saying things to indicate we are getting to know one another with the intention for there possibly being more. I feel nothing for this guy other than "Hey we could be really good friends, I like men friends.....that I'm not going to have sex with." Hopefully he can control himself. ;) First step, do not allow him to pay for dinner. To be honest, this is hard when I am broke and want to experience Charlotte cuisine. Hopefully he will get the hint before trying to go in for a kiss. I'm not looking to bruise his ego.
I went out Saturday with my little sister for my birthday and to watch the Ohio State/Michigan game. Go Bucks!! I'm glad the birthday went by with little said but plenty of beer. (After three large beverages, I was feeling pretty good) This was one I wasn't really looking forward to celebrating. Next year on the other hand....my last year in my 20s...it's on. So a nice young man, a mandolin player, sat down next to us and kept us company for a few hours. Boy did he make an impression on the sister and I! I've been hoping for a craigslist missed connection and my sister mentioned him yesterday! Hard pressed to find a man we both have the hots for. I will say, if he was interested he had a chance to get her number more than once when I was making my frequent trips to the restroom due to the ever shrinking size of my bladder. She did not leave me alone with the mandolin player. I'm going to go with the whole "if he is interested he will do what it takes" idea again and he would have asked for my number with her around. However, I think it was the first time I'd been out and actually met a man who kept my attention. He was adorable. I'd like to pretend he was feeling me. Oh! Woe is me for reals!
Dating in the dead of winter, I'm interested in seeing how this works out. I might have to go into hibernation until spring, where one can walk hand in hand with the man she fancies and be courted while every animal in town get busy making babies. Nah, I like a challenge and why wait?
Tuesday, November 23, 2010
The Life of A Cheap Whore
So a few weeks ago or so I posted a craigslist ad. In the past I have had much success with the good old craigslist, this is not one of those times. Had an interesting email conversation, met no one and got called mean and nasty names. Apparently, some people haven't learned that just because I post an ad doesn't make me a punching bag for all of the women who have hurt you, it also does not mean I will fuck you.
There was a guy who seemed totally interesting at first, until he started talking about us meeting up. I wish I'd kept the emails to get the exact words. I politely declined his idea to meet that day for lunch. I also made it clear he was being a little pushy and that I didn't like the talk of kissing someone who I didn't know and that it set a bad idea of what could happen. He apologized and we went back to email basics.
Until I got his final email which asked me if we got to know each other if he could go down on me. Hmmmmm. While like most women the thought is appealing, it definitely was not appealing with him and I didn't even bother responding. Back in the day my response might have been, "If you hadn't said anything like that you might have gotten whatever you wanted." Being a tease is sometimes fun. Instead I just didn't respond. Always the best bet. To ignore a man who is clearly just trying to get attention or an easy fuck.
I get a text yesterday from someone I don't know. (I have a tendency to take people out of my phone who I haven't talked to in a while.) So I responded with "Who is this?" He responded with "Chris, the pushy one." At first it didn't ring a bell, then I was like UGH! So I ignored it and he then asked what I was doing. I really hate that question, none of your business. So finally I was just like, "Obviously, if I don't know who you are I'm not interested in talking with you. Please take me out of your phone. Thanks. :)"
His response was classic: "Wow. And you are also a total bitch too. Later cheap whore."
I should have responded with "Yo Momma!"
Love it. I promptly texted it to my best friend. I don't quite know where the *and* and *too* come from since he wasn't name calling before. I'm guessing his grasp on the concept of the English language is limited.
I'd rather be a cheap whore bitch than an idiot.
There was a guy who seemed totally interesting at first, until he started talking about us meeting up. I wish I'd kept the emails to get the exact words. I politely declined his idea to meet that day for lunch. I also made it clear he was being a little pushy and that I didn't like the talk of kissing someone who I didn't know and that it set a bad idea of what could happen. He apologized and we went back to email basics.
Until I got his final email which asked me if we got to know each other if he could go down on me. Hmmmmm. While like most women the thought is appealing, it definitely was not appealing with him and I didn't even bother responding. Back in the day my response might have been, "If you hadn't said anything like that you might have gotten whatever you wanted." Being a tease is sometimes fun. Instead I just didn't respond. Always the best bet. To ignore a man who is clearly just trying to get attention or an easy fuck.
I get a text yesterday from someone I don't know. (I have a tendency to take people out of my phone who I haven't talked to in a while.) So I responded with "Who is this?" He responded with "Chris, the pushy one." At first it didn't ring a bell, then I was like UGH! So I ignored it and he then asked what I was doing. I really hate that question, none of your business. So finally I was just like, "Obviously, if I don't know who you are I'm not interested in talking with you. Please take me out of your phone. Thanks. :)"
His response was classic: "Wow. And you are also a total bitch too. Later cheap whore."
I should have responded with "Yo Momma!"
Love it. I promptly texted it to my best friend. I don't quite know where the *and* and *too* come from since he wasn't name calling before. I'm guessing his grasp on the concept of the English language is limited.
I'd rather be a cheap whore bitch than an idiot.
Monday, November 22, 2010
Picture Tips for Men
A picture is worth a thousand words. We all know this. Through online dating I've had this drilled into my skull, looking at the many pictures of men who are not exactly putting their best foot forward, or face in this case. A picture will make or break you with me...not because of what you look like...it is something more.
Here is my list of common picture faux pas I frequently see:
-You Shirtless: Let me imagine what could be hiding under your tee. Maybe even rock the v-neck to give me a preview like women sometimes give. I really dislike the shirtless picture. It screams "LOW SELF ESTEEM!!" Especially when you are already on a dating site. This is not a turn on in the slightest, I don't need to know what you're workin' with, other than above the shoulders. A physical attraction will happen with your shirt on.
-You in the Mirror of Your Bathroom with Your Camera Phone: Hmmmm. You don't have any pictures of you otherwise? You don't know anyone who could take a picture of you? Why?
-Throwing up Deuces: not the old school hippie peace sign. It is kind of wanna be gangsta, I take myself a lotta too seriously and is especially horrible when you are wearing sunglasses...in the middle of the club. You are not a rapper, producer or anyone important enough to deuce me in your knock offs. Smile and act like life is worth living, not just for acting hard.
-Other Women: This for me is a big no-no. ESPECIALLY if you don't say that it is your sister or cousin or relative. It just gives a bad vibe. I'm interested in you, not what your friends or girlfriends look like. It also isn't cool to post pictures of your children. Quite scary in fact.
-Vehicle: So you drive a monster truck or a BMW. That really isn't you. To post a picture of you in front of your car is strange....unless you are a woman, who is half naked, posing for a magazine (and that is a whole other issue.) It is even worse when it is just your ride. Who cares? This says to me you are materialistic and will judge my car when you see it. Shania comes to mind. It doesn't impress me much.
-Deer heads-Yes. I know it seems like I shouldn't even have to say it. A picture of you holding a buck by the antlers not only makes me want to throw up and move on to the next profile, it also makes me want to express how little I imagine your penis being for feeling the need to show off the fact that you killed an innocent animal with a gun that you are probably not well trained enough to use. This honestly makes me quite sick. Contrary to 500 years ago, I don't need proof that you can support me by providing protection (with your idiot gun) or food (by harming something so innocent) I can just head to the grocery store and pick up a nice meal.
-Beer Bong: Or any bong really. I get it, you are probably younger than I am and drink a bit more than I do but this is a dating site. Why would you post a picture of you even holding a beer bong?
-At the Gym: Why? Okay, you go to the gym, so do I but I really don't need to see what you look like when you are working out.
I will say, with these types of pictures I am able to weed through the duds. Gotta look on the bright side.
On a non-dating related note. Not only is Thanksgiving fast approaching, but so is my birthday!! I will officially be 28. While I am not exactly excited about this getting older thing, since it is Thanksgiving I have a lot to be thankful for. Having a 4 day weekend birthday without having to request any time off is great!
Here is my list of common picture faux pas I frequently see:
-You Shirtless: Let me imagine what could be hiding under your tee. Maybe even rock the v-neck to give me a preview like women sometimes give. I really dislike the shirtless picture. It screams "LOW SELF ESTEEM!!" Especially when you are already on a dating site. This is not a turn on in the slightest, I don't need to know what you're workin' with, other than above the shoulders. A physical attraction will happen with your shirt on.
-You in the Mirror of Your Bathroom with Your Camera Phone: Hmmmm. You don't have any pictures of you otherwise? You don't know anyone who could take a picture of you? Why?
-Throwing up Deuces: not the old school hippie peace sign. It is kind of wanna be gangsta, I take myself a lotta too seriously and is especially horrible when you are wearing sunglasses...in the middle of the club. You are not a rapper, producer or anyone important enough to deuce me in your knock offs. Smile and act like life is worth living, not just for acting hard.
-Other Women: This for me is a big no-no. ESPECIALLY if you don't say that it is your sister or cousin or relative. It just gives a bad vibe. I'm interested in you, not what your friends or girlfriends look like. It also isn't cool to post pictures of your children. Quite scary in fact.
-Vehicle: So you drive a monster truck or a BMW. That really isn't you. To post a picture of you in front of your car is strange....unless you are a woman, who is half naked, posing for a magazine (and that is a whole other issue.) It is even worse when it is just your ride. Who cares? This says to me you are materialistic and will judge my car when you see it. Shania comes to mind. It doesn't impress me much.
-Deer heads-Yes. I know it seems like I shouldn't even have to say it. A picture of you holding a buck by the antlers not only makes me want to throw up and move on to the next profile, it also makes me want to express how little I imagine your penis being for feeling the need to show off the fact that you killed an innocent animal with a gun that you are probably not well trained enough to use. This honestly makes me quite sick. Contrary to 500 years ago, I don't need proof that you can support me by providing protection (with your idiot gun) or food (by harming something so innocent) I can just head to the grocery store and pick up a nice meal.
-Beer Bong: Or any bong really. I get it, you are probably younger than I am and drink a bit more than I do but this is a dating site. Why would you post a picture of you even holding a beer bong?
-At the Gym: Why? Okay, you go to the gym, so do I but I really don't need to see what you look like when you are working out.
I will say, with these types of pictures I am able to weed through the duds. Gotta look on the bright side.
On a non-dating related note. Not only is Thanksgiving fast approaching, but so is my birthday!! I will officially be 28. While I am not exactly excited about this getting older thing, since it is Thanksgiving I have a lot to be thankful for. Having a 4 day weekend birthday without having to request any time off is great!
Friday, November 19, 2010
My Philosopher
My ex is an interesting kind of guy. Smart and attractive....however he also is closed off with an interest strictly in Philosophy. Life in general doesn't hold much interest to him, a relationship is different in his eyes as it comes after Philosophy. On the outside he seems like a straight up asshole, caring only about himself and making it very difficult to have a relationship with, especially being the type of woman I am where I need attention, affection and someone who is clearly devoted to me even though he has a life of his own. The ex does not have the ability to give me what I need out of a relationship, I don't want to give him an out or some excuse for the way he's acted in the past but he doesn't think quite like the rest of us. What attracted me to him in the first place I believe was ultimately the undoing of our relationship.
I love him. Very much. Our connection is special, unlike anything I've ever experienced. I still frequently picture our children. I'm sure he does as well...they would be beautiful, smart, wonderful people....as creepy as that sounds. ha! This man is the one who made me want to change my "bad girl" ways.
It will never work no matter how hard I try. There are probably women who are able to have a distant partner but I am not one of them and he will never be able to be the man I need.
He sent me a text last night, "I was looking forward to your visit." (I was supposed to go "home" in two weeks. I moved in April to be with my family and haven't been back since.) I'm not overly emotional but I know what these words mean coming from him. This is his way of saying, I wanted to see you and I have missed you. It almost made me cry. I know he hasn't seen anyone since we split..close to a year ago. I know he feels that if he will ever marry, it will probably be to me. I'm torn.
Family and friends will say "He's not the one for you." Yeah, I get it but he will always hold a special place in my heart. I often wonder if there is another connection like this out there for me or if I will just end up with someone who adores me, is the affectionate, attentive man I know I need.
In a relationship can we have it all? Do people end up settling for what they know they can live with? I feel like so many couples I know seem to have settled. Maybe it is outsiders perspective. I want passion and stability. I just don't know if those two things go together.
I love him. Very much. Our connection is special, unlike anything I've ever experienced. I still frequently picture our children. I'm sure he does as well...they would be beautiful, smart, wonderful people....as creepy as that sounds. ha! This man is the one who made me want to change my "bad girl" ways.
It will never work no matter how hard I try. There are probably women who are able to have a distant partner but I am not one of them and he will never be able to be the man I need.
He sent me a text last night, "I was looking forward to your visit." (I was supposed to go "home" in two weeks. I moved in April to be with my family and haven't been back since.) I'm not overly emotional but I know what these words mean coming from him. This is his way of saying, I wanted to see you and I have missed you. It almost made me cry. I know he hasn't seen anyone since we split..close to a year ago. I know he feels that if he will ever marry, it will probably be to me. I'm torn.
Family and friends will say "He's not the one for you." Yeah, I get it but he will always hold a special place in my heart. I often wonder if there is another connection like this out there for me or if I will just end up with someone who adores me, is the affectionate, attentive man I know I need.
In a relationship can we have it all? Do people end up settling for what they know they can live with? I feel like so many couples I know seem to have settled. Maybe it is outsiders perspective. I want passion and stability. I just don't know if those two things go together.
Wednesday, November 17, 2010
Phone Lovin'
It was brought to my attention a few weeks ago from a friend of mine that we "used to have phone sex" and "I still think you are awesome anyway." This was an interesting statement because for one I haven't had phone sex in forever AND the fact that he would feel the need to tell me I was "awesome anyway" was an interesting addition to the first statement. Oh engineers, they always have a way of saying things in a way to make you feel like a skank.
I started thinking about it though. Phone sex has so many advantages. No STDs/pregnancy, it's pretty hard to get attached to someone via the phone, safest form of sex their is. I've been told I have a sexy voice so in the past getting laid over the phone was much easier than in person. I know, don't cry for me Argentina, I survived....partially because of all of the phone sex I had. I bet my phone sex partners out number those who actually got it in by double or triple.
Once I was so into it, a neighbor (or set of neighbors) stopped my roommate in the parking lot asking if everything in our apartment was okay. The conversation indicated a "picture fell off of their wall" and at first I didn't get it. Until I thought about it. Phone sex. They thought I was having actual sex. ha ha. Hopefully this isn't one of those stories my roommate created to tell me she was tired of hearing my escapades (which is total fair,) because I like the idea of neighbors thinking I am having wild kinky sex when in fact I was not.
The desire just isn't there anymore, I need something physical. Something to look at, touch, hold and the shape of a phone isn't exactly phallic enough for me. Of course it is still a good alternative for when your man is away and you'd like to share some fantasies or something, keep his attention.
Phone sex is like "Sex Lite," like the free version of an iPhone application. Not the same but good enough to get you through.
To end this on a "It's all about me and I need my ego stroked" note: After bringing up the fact that I felt my engineer friend had basically admitted he thought I was a whore, he confessed his crush. I was flattered. He actually had a thing for me. Who knew.
I started thinking about it though. Phone sex has so many advantages. No STDs/pregnancy, it's pretty hard to get attached to someone via the phone, safest form of sex their is. I've been told I have a sexy voice so in the past getting laid over the phone was much easier than in person. I know, don't cry for me Argentina, I survived....partially because of all of the phone sex I had. I bet my phone sex partners out number those who actually got it in by double or triple.
Once I was so into it, a neighbor (or set of neighbors) stopped my roommate in the parking lot asking if everything in our apartment was okay. The conversation indicated a "picture fell off of their wall" and at first I didn't get it. Until I thought about it. Phone sex. They thought I was having actual sex. ha ha. Hopefully this isn't one of those stories my roommate created to tell me she was tired of hearing my escapades (which is total fair,) because I like the idea of neighbors thinking I am having wild kinky sex when in fact I was not.
The desire just isn't there anymore, I need something physical. Something to look at, touch, hold and the shape of a phone isn't exactly phallic enough for me. Of course it is still a good alternative for when your man is away and you'd like to share some fantasies or something, keep his attention.
Phone sex is like "Sex Lite," like the free version of an iPhone application. Not the same but good enough to get you through.
To end this on a "It's all about me and I need my ego stroked" note: After bringing up the fact that I felt my engineer friend had basically admitted he thought I was a whore, he confessed his crush. I was flattered. He actually had a thing for me. Who knew.
Monday, November 15, 2010
Meat Market
So I have a little crush on the one I met with on Thursday. I did find tea. It was so amazingly fabulous. Maybe I had a crush on the tea. He is physically attractive with a great smile, a voice sent from the gods (I have a thing for a man with a sexy voice) and overall someone I would like to see again/get to know. I feel as though I made it clear I wanted to see him again. We will see, at this point it isn't looking promising. Sad face.
Saturday night I met my sister and her friend out at a bar/club/cougar town. It was the first time I have really been out since I moved here and the first time I've been to a straight persons "meat market" in years. You know the place.....men standing around scouting everything, judging....women wearing too much make-up, hair looking like they are going to prom and skirts up to the coochie. Yeah. Instead of standing, watching my sister drunk as shit...I would have rather sat my happy ass in a corner and people watched. Better yet I would have wanted to just go to a real bar. Made for drinking...not fucking. Apparently the laws do not permit that (something the chef told me Thursday) you have to sell food or a membership to serve liquor. What kind of city is this???
I enjoyed being more than slightly tipsy. I was to be honest, kind of drunk. Not hot mess drunk like my sister...I was able to keep it together. I came home wishing I was who I was a few years ago, skankalicious. I really could have used a good old fashion "Wanna Fuck?" text to some random dude in my phone. I'm glad I didn't but since I had been having the desire, the alcohol just made it worse. I felt as though I needed some kind of validation since at the bar there was this old ass white lady grinding with this fine ass black man...apparently the cougar is in full force in this town. Maybe I should remind myself I have something to look forward to when I am old. Some BBC.
I realized that I have made the right decision to seek dudes on the Internet. It is far less degrading than finding some scuzzy/sleazy/nasty dude at the meat market.
Saturday night I met my sister and her friend out at a bar/club/cougar town. It was the first time I have really been out since I moved here and the first time I've been to a straight persons "meat market" in years. You know the place.....men standing around scouting everything, judging....women wearing too much make-up, hair looking like they are going to prom and skirts up to the coochie. Yeah. Instead of standing, watching my sister drunk as shit...I would have rather sat my happy ass in a corner and people watched. Better yet I would have wanted to just go to a real bar. Made for drinking...not fucking. Apparently the laws do not permit that (something the chef told me Thursday) you have to sell food or a membership to serve liquor. What kind of city is this???
I enjoyed being more than slightly tipsy. I was to be honest, kind of drunk. Not hot mess drunk like my sister...I was able to keep it together. I came home wishing I was who I was a few years ago, skankalicious. I really could have used a good old fashion "Wanna Fuck?" text to some random dude in my phone. I'm glad I didn't but since I had been having the desire, the alcohol just made it worse. I felt as though I needed some kind of validation since at the bar there was this old ass white lady grinding with this fine ass black man...apparently the cougar is in full force in this town. Maybe I should remind myself I have something to look forward to when I am old. Some BBC.
I realized that I have made the right decision to seek dudes on the Internet. It is far less degrading than finding some scuzzy/sleazy/nasty dude at the meat market.
Tuesday, November 9, 2010
We're Havin A Bubble Bath
I can't be the only one who sees Facebook as a crock of shit. I do play along. Sometimes I get a kick out of what I see on there or the occasional post that busts someone out. I'm the Facebook bitch. My guess is because I really find it to be a place where people brag about what they have or complain about what they don't. I'm guilty of that. Prior to this blog I was in a really short relationship/dating thing that went up in straight flames, felt like the worst ever. One day everything was great and we were heading towards love...the next I was straight up dumped. During that period of time I let the world....or Facebook know what I was going through. I think it is the reason why I decided to start this blog. If I felt that there was a place for me to vent all of my shit I maybe wouldn't have exposed as many people to my heartache.
Okay, with all that being said...since apparently I am getting off topic....Facebook proves to me that I am grateful to be single at almost 28 years old. I am Facebook friends with a girl I went to high school with who is married to her high school sweetheart and he is the reason for this post. Her husband was not the best looking guy in town, but certainly the best looking of all of his friends and she had the best looking man of all of her friends. I don't know what happened to him, maybe it is purely weight gain but he has NOT aged well at all. His 20s were not kind to him at all.
While overall it would be nice to have a man, an actual man. Not just someone with a penis, penis is nice don't get me wrong but I can get that anytime. I'm really getting off topic today, I just am glad I have lived, experienced different men and I am grateful to not be one of those who married her high school sweetheart.
I had a "date" Saturday. (I really dislike that term.) We went to see a movie and the spark wasn't there. (Meaning we weren't physically attracted to each other. Ha!) Probably partially because he decided to see a movie. Hello, you won't get to know me that way! One way or another he is a nice enough guy. We both agreed that there wasn't anything there. I like to agree. It kind of sucks because he is a cuddler. I LOVE to cuddle. I offered my friendship...he didn't seem too interested in that. Eh. I considered offering him a blow job but then I realized I didn't want to suck him.
Thursday I am supposed to be having a meet up with a chef who owns a chihuahua. Perfect. I love to eat and if you throw in my chihuahuas, it's a party. Fingers crossed this is the time when I find tea. Yes, this is a tea exploration meet up. I'm looking forward to this one. He seems like the type who is just going to be himself. Take it or leave it. Open minded and interesting.
I talked with the ex last night and felt like I was almost in love again. He sounded great, happy and like he actually wanted to talk with me. This really is one of those situations where I wish it would have worked out but not matter how hard we try, it just probably never will. It's frustrating. I think he still holds out hope for us. There is a part of me that does as well.
I posted a craigslist ad, let's see what comes of this. I've realized craigslist is a bunch of new men in town. Get them while their hot!!
Okay, with all that being said...since apparently I am getting off topic....Facebook proves to me that I am grateful to be single at almost 28 years old. I am Facebook friends with a girl I went to high school with who is married to her high school sweetheart and he is the reason for this post. Her husband was not the best looking guy in town, but certainly the best looking of all of his friends and she had the best looking man of all of her friends. I don't know what happened to him, maybe it is purely weight gain but he has NOT aged well at all. His 20s were not kind to him at all.
While overall it would be nice to have a man, an actual man. Not just someone with a penis, penis is nice don't get me wrong but I can get that anytime. I'm really getting off topic today, I just am glad I have lived, experienced different men and I am grateful to not be one of those who married her high school sweetheart.
I had a "date" Saturday. (I really dislike that term.) We went to see a movie and the spark wasn't there. (Meaning we weren't physically attracted to each other. Ha!) Probably partially because he decided to see a movie. Hello, you won't get to know me that way! One way or another he is a nice enough guy. We both agreed that there wasn't anything there. I like to agree. It kind of sucks because he is a cuddler. I LOVE to cuddle. I offered my friendship...he didn't seem too interested in that. Eh. I considered offering him a blow job but then I realized I didn't want to suck him.
Thursday I am supposed to be having a meet up with a chef who owns a chihuahua. Perfect. I love to eat and if you throw in my chihuahuas, it's a party. Fingers crossed this is the time when I find tea. Yes, this is a tea exploration meet up. I'm looking forward to this one. He seems like the type who is just going to be himself. Take it or leave it. Open minded and interesting.
I talked with the ex last night and felt like I was almost in love again. He sounded great, happy and like he actually wanted to talk with me. This really is one of those situations where I wish it would have worked out but not matter how hard we try, it just probably never will. It's frustrating. I think he still holds out hope for us. There is a part of me that does as well.
I posted a craigslist ad, let's see what comes of this. I've realized craigslist is a bunch of new men in town. Get them while their hot!!
Friday, November 5, 2010
Camera Man Post #1
Flaky! It is amazing how quickly a man can change his mind. This time yesterday I set up a date for this evening with a 38 year old camera man. Yeah, I know over 10 years older isn't exactly what I am looking for but he seemed fun and interesting.
This morning I get a text "I thought my friend's bday party was next week, but it's tonight. Can we plan for early next week? I'm so sorry."
My first thought: Bullshit.
The night before he was ALL about some Semi-Reformed Bad Girl then last night...nothing. If you go from "Oh you are so adorable, I can't wait to spend time together." to nothing the next night. Red Flag. The night before he even in a kind of crazy way said "I believe everything happens for a reason." Wow really? Let's not go there at least until we meet.
I'll allow him to take me out early next week but I'm willing to bet money it never happens.
This morning I get a text "I thought my friend's bday party was next week, but it's tonight. Can we plan for early next week? I'm so sorry."
My first thought: Bullshit.
The night before he was ALL about some Semi-Reformed Bad Girl then last night...nothing. If you go from "Oh you are so adorable, I can't wait to spend time together." to nothing the next night. Red Flag. The night before he even in a kind of crazy way said "I believe everything happens for a reason." Wow really? Let's not go there at least until we meet.
I'll allow him to take me out early next week but I'm willing to bet money it never happens.
Wednesday, November 3, 2010
Sorry, You're Too Skinny
Over the past 24 hours I have had one of the most interesting conversations that I have had in a while. While I try to really not get too down on the fact that people are so concerned with looks it gets really hard when things like this happen. Mind you, I have had my fair share of men. I'm not every dudes cup of tea but a wide variety have found themselves attracted not only mentally but physically. I'm a cute/hot/beautiful/interesting/sweet/kind... woman. Period.
So I am trying to open myself up to different kinds of men, you know we all have our preferences but if I stuck with that I might be limiting myself and really selling myself short. So I went out on a limb and messaged a guy with one picture (usually it's best to be able to see more than one cause, well... you know.) He seemed interesting and I thought we could have some things in common. Not exactly my style guy but that's really okay, there weren't any glaring physical issues that I was just like NO about.
This is the response I get back:
Look at you, lots of checks in my compatibility column. Well done. Here's the thing, and this is all me. I'm pretty much only interested in plus size chicks. I need to go back and mention that in my bio thingy. From what i can tell, you're not plus size...so it's a bit of an issue. With that, you are very attractive and very much my kind of gal.
My initial reaction was "Bullshit." For more than one reason.
Now maybe this is the time when I should mention that I am not small. By any means. Actually considered "plus size" by most standards. A size 14 in fact. Also I have lost 50 pounds, formerly a size 24 and very proud of the physical changes and accomplishments I've made over the last almost 2 years. I have every intention of continuing the trend and losing another at least 30 pounds if not more. You can guess that for a lot of my life I was told "You have a cute face but I'm not into plus size girls." It still stings.
So I asked this guy to define "plus size" for me. Because if you want someone my former size, well that isn't going to happen but again technically I do fall into that category.
The response:
I'm not as superficial as it prob seems, im not super specific. I just find the rubenesque figure more feminine that the typical smaller chick. Just me, it's the curves and softness i guess. I blame this ideal on my figure drawing classes in school. The bigger women were more interesting.
Well, yeah okay. That isn't exactly specific and what you are describing could definitely be me. Curves...check. Softness...as much as I hate to admit it...check. Not a smaller chick....check. Interesting?....Oh fo sho!
At this point I'm still being polite. As offended as I am for not being fat enough (go figure right?) I'm thinking maybe he's just confused. My best friend did indicate my shoulders appear to be much smaller than in the past and most of my pictures are head shots. Most of my weight loss is shown in my face.
Then he wanted proof of my size. ::eye roll:: At this point I remembered why I sent him the first message. Thinking we could get along on a deeper level. Then I remember his first message which starts with "I'm not as superficial as it probably seems." Actually, yeah. This is probably the most superficial man in his 30s I have ever met. I'm thinking, "If you give a mouse a cookie." If he wants to judge me based on how fat or not fat I am, next my fat isn't going to be in the "right" places. That is where I decided to draw the line.
In his next message he accused me of lying about my size. Saying that other women told him they were "plus size" when in fact they weren't. Who does that? Sorry but you haven't shown me you are interesting or good looking enough for me to claim to weigh more than I do, especially after how hard I have worked to lose weight.
It all fell apart from here. Went completely downhill and I was just like okay. We have reached the point of no return. Clearly this is a fetish (which of course he claimed it wasn't..uhhh o-kay) and you have these notions about who I am that clearly aren't going away. Still giggling that the notions involve me being "too skinny."
I feel as though I should add this to my list of "Cons" of online dating. The man who clearly can't see past the physical or is too stubborn to even open his eyes. They claim they don't want to waste their time. Ummm tell me sir, what better do you have to do with your time? You've spent probably more than an hour messaging me at this point. If we meet you have nothing to lose, I pay for myself so there isn't any obligation. Cha-ching you aren't losing money. I make wonderful conversation and have a great time. I haven't had a first date not want a second. Proof is in the pudding asshole. So you spend an hour with someone who isn't physically your type, even though you are attracted to me (still confused) you aren't losing or wasting anything. Shallowness at it's finest.
I have the last laugh in this case because clearly he would have fallen in love if we'd met. Sucka.
So I am trying to open myself up to different kinds of men, you know we all have our preferences but if I stuck with that I might be limiting myself and really selling myself short. So I went out on a limb and messaged a guy with one picture (usually it's best to be able to see more than one cause, well... you know.) He seemed interesting and I thought we could have some things in common. Not exactly my style guy but that's really okay, there weren't any glaring physical issues that I was just like NO about.
This is the response I get back:
Look at you, lots of checks in my compatibility column. Well done. Here's the thing, and this is all me. I'm pretty much only interested in plus size chicks. I need to go back and mention that in my bio thingy. From what i can tell, you're not plus size...so it's a bit of an issue. With that, you are very attractive and very much my kind of gal.
My initial reaction was "Bullshit." For more than one reason.
Now maybe this is the time when I should mention that I am not small. By any means. Actually considered "plus size" by most standards. A size 14 in fact. Also I have lost 50 pounds, formerly a size 24 and very proud of the physical changes and accomplishments I've made over the last almost 2 years. I have every intention of continuing the trend and losing another at least 30 pounds if not more. You can guess that for a lot of my life I was told "You have a cute face but I'm not into plus size girls." It still stings.
So I asked this guy to define "plus size" for me. Because if you want someone my former size, well that isn't going to happen but again technically I do fall into that category.
The response:
I'm not as superficial as it prob seems, im not super specific. I just find the rubenesque figure more feminine that the typical smaller chick. Just me, it's the curves and softness i guess. I blame this ideal on my figure drawing classes in school. The bigger women were more interesting.
Well, yeah okay. That isn't exactly specific and what you are describing could definitely be me. Curves...check. Softness...as much as I hate to admit it...check. Not a smaller chick....check. Interesting?....Oh fo sho!
At this point I'm still being polite. As offended as I am for not being fat enough (go figure right?) I'm thinking maybe he's just confused. My best friend did indicate my shoulders appear to be much smaller than in the past and most of my pictures are head shots. Most of my weight loss is shown in my face.
Then he wanted proof of my size. ::eye roll:: At this point I remembered why I sent him the first message. Thinking we could get along on a deeper level. Then I remember his first message which starts with "I'm not as superficial as it probably seems." Actually, yeah. This is probably the most superficial man in his 30s I have ever met. I'm thinking, "If you give a mouse a cookie." If he wants to judge me based on how fat or not fat I am, next my fat isn't going to be in the "right" places. That is where I decided to draw the line.
In his next message he accused me of lying about my size. Saying that other women told him they were "plus size" when in fact they weren't. Who does that? Sorry but you haven't shown me you are interesting or good looking enough for me to claim to weigh more than I do, especially after how hard I have worked to lose weight.
It all fell apart from here. Went completely downhill and I was just like okay. We have reached the point of no return. Clearly this is a fetish (which of course he claimed it wasn't..uhhh o-kay) and you have these notions about who I am that clearly aren't going away. Still giggling that the notions involve me being "too skinny."
I feel as though I should add this to my list of "Cons" of online dating. The man who clearly can't see past the physical or is too stubborn to even open his eyes. They claim they don't want to waste their time. Ummm tell me sir, what better do you have to do with your time? You've spent probably more than an hour messaging me at this point. If we meet you have nothing to lose, I pay for myself so there isn't any obligation. Cha-ching you aren't losing money. I make wonderful conversation and have a great time. I haven't had a first date not want a second. Proof is in the pudding asshole. So you spend an hour with someone who isn't physically your type, even though you are attracted to me (still confused) you aren't losing or wasting anything. Shallowness at it's finest.
I have the last laugh in this case because clearly he would have fallen in love if we'd met. Sucka.
Monday, November 1, 2010
One Man's Trash...Another Man's Treasure???
Is it wrong to feel like this little saying applies to dating? I firmly believe that there is someone for everyone, think about that really annoying co-worker who's husband adores her or crazy family member who has been paired up since the dawn of time. How many times have you or someone you know said "I just don't get it, why am I still single?" I have to hope it is because my dude on a white horse....or bass guitar has not come along and when he does I will not have to wonder anymore.
I take this matter into my own hands and don't wait for him to show up at my door. I know if I did that I would be waiting around forever and I really feel like if I don't meet as many men as possible, I may not appreciate him when he does come along. I'm a firm believer in knowing what I want. The only way that will happen is by personal experience.
With that being said, I....the Semi-Reformed Bad Girl....am an online dater. Ahhh, now you can see why I would liken my search to the whole "one man's trash...." The Internet seems to be the place where men go once they have split up and all friends are connected to the ex which in turn means they can't find another chick within the circle.
Here is my list of pros and cons of online dating. I do not pay for online dating sites and do not do the whole long distance thing. So my experience comes from craigslist.org...SCARY I know and plentyoffish.com (I'm stealing the whole bullet list idea from a friends blog...it looked so clean!)
Pros:
I think the biggest downside that I have found is the man who isn't being honest with himself. He has baggage that he hasn't dealt with, he is looking for a woman to replace what he had and he just isn't really ready for a relationship. Online dating gives people an easy rebound. If it weren't for online dating people would have to focus more on themselves instead of the task of finding someone new.
My tips for online dating? Fun. A fun profile with little of what you don't like and more of what you do. Something that makes you stand out..a silly picture. I find it easier to know how interested a man is by the first message. If he has read my profile and looked at the captions of my pictures, he is more likely to comment, then in turn showing me that he took the time to actually read what I had to say. Have fun. It is hard to not get your hopes up but if you look at it with an open mind and a way to experience new things and people...it can be a lot of fun. Just be you. There is no sense in making up anything. It makes it more enjoyable when you just do you.
I would be interested in others thoughts on online dating. Have you done it? Had any success? I only know of one couple who met online that are together and appear to be life partners. While my stories are sometimes good, I wonder if I will meet my mate via the Internet. I need a time machine damn it!
I take this matter into my own hands and don't wait for him to show up at my door. I know if I did that I would be waiting around forever and I really feel like if I don't meet as many men as possible, I may not appreciate him when he does come along. I'm a firm believer in knowing what I want. The only way that will happen is by personal experience.
With that being said, I....the Semi-Reformed Bad Girl....am an online dater. Ahhh, now you can see why I would liken my search to the whole "one man's trash...." The Internet seems to be the place where men go once they have split up and all friends are connected to the ex which in turn means they can't find another chick within the circle.
Here is my list of pros and cons of online dating. I do not pay for online dating sites and do not do the whole long distance thing. So my experience comes from craigslist.org...SCARY I know and plentyoffish.com (I'm stealing the whole bullet list idea from a friends blog...it looked so clean!)
Pros:
- A large pool of men in a concentrated area
- The opportunity to be completely honest about who you are and know that some people are in your same situation
- Pictures...online datings best friend
- POF has specific questions that people answer when making a profile
- Finding someone you have already had a romp in the sheets with a few years ago
- A quick way to determine if a man has what you are looking for
- Having the upper hand, it's not like you have to make up an excuse on why you don't want to talk to them if they sent you a message that was less than stellar
- Meeting someone in person and they are even better looking/more awesome than on their profile
- Great if you are a busy person
- A large pool of women, maybe it's just me but it seems like men are always interested in the next new shiny toy. This very well could be a product of men not knowing what they want or not being prepared for what they think they want
- Dishonesty. There seems to be a disconnect where people maybe kind of make up who they are or what they have to offer since technically they don't know the person they are speaking to
- Someone who is more interesting online...This has been a rare for me but it happens
- The player...after years of doing this...I can smell him from a mile away.
- Finding someone you had a romp in the sheets with a few years ago
- The stigma attached to "online dating" even though "everyone is doing it"
I think the biggest downside that I have found is the man who isn't being honest with himself. He has baggage that he hasn't dealt with, he is looking for a woman to replace what he had and he just isn't really ready for a relationship. Online dating gives people an easy rebound. If it weren't for online dating people would have to focus more on themselves instead of the task of finding someone new.
My tips for online dating? Fun. A fun profile with little of what you don't like and more of what you do. Something that makes you stand out..a silly picture. I find it easier to know how interested a man is by the first message. If he has read my profile and looked at the captions of my pictures, he is more likely to comment, then in turn showing me that he took the time to actually read what I had to say. Have fun. It is hard to not get your hopes up but if you look at it with an open mind and a way to experience new things and people...it can be a lot of fun. Just be you. There is no sense in making up anything. It makes it more enjoyable when you just do you.
I would be interested in others thoughts on online dating. Have you done it? Had any success? I only know of one couple who met online that are together and appear to be life partners. While my stories are sometimes good, I wonder if I will meet my mate via the Internet. I need a time machine damn it!
Friday, October 29, 2010
Marching to the Beat of My Own Drum
I read a fair amount of 20-something women's blogs, most of these found by my best friend. After reading enough of these perfect women with the perfect lives or the hot messes putting it out there for everyone to see I decided I needed to put my shit out there for everyone to see. I admire those who have no shame in their game, I feel they are keeping it more "real" than those who have the perfect husbands, babies and houses. Gag.
Who are these women convincing us that in our late 20's we should all be married with a baby or one on the way? The same ones who dated the star football player or rock god in high school. That was not me. I've always felt the need to rebel, no thank you on doing it like everyone else.
This holds true in pretty much everything I have done, especially when it came to sex and men. Notice how I don't mention relationships? Yeah those were pretty non-existent for most of my life. Just now am I really seeing the benefit of one man, who is a good man. Documenting this via S-RBG.
My nickname in high school? The creamy inhaler. Yes, I gave that much head that my friends gave it a god awful name. What a whore.
This is my attempt at a real blog, with topics...information...specific posts and my way to work through this dating process that should have happened years ago. I can't wait to see what comes of this. It could be epic or it could fail. I really hope there are other women, of any age who will share their insight and opinions.
Sometimes we need to be reminded, this isn't a race. There is no timeline. This is that reminder to myself.
Who are these women convincing us that in our late 20's we should all be married with a baby or one on the way? The same ones who dated the star football player or rock god in high school. That was not me. I've always felt the need to rebel, no thank you on doing it like everyone else.
This holds true in pretty much everything I have done, especially when it came to sex and men. Notice how I don't mention relationships? Yeah those were pretty non-existent for most of my life. Just now am I really seeing the benefit of one man, who is a good man. Documenting this via S-RBG.
My nickname in high school? The creamy inhaler. Yes, I gave that much head that my friends gave it a god awful name. What a whore.
This is my attempt at a real blog, with topics...information...specific posts and my way to work through this dating process that should have happened years ago. I can't wait to see what comes of this. It could be epic or it could fail. I really hope there are other women, of any age who will share their insight and opinions.
Sometimes we need to be reminded, this isn't a race. There is no timeline. This is that reminder to myself.
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