Oh For The Lack of Sex!!

My mom frequently tries to remind me that my "depression" or what I prefer to call just "times when I want to do nothing" is because I don't eat properly or because I am not getting to the gym enough. Yes, mom, you are right...most of the time. Right now though, it's because I'm not having sex. Not only am I not having sex but I am having horrible, uncomfortable dates with men who have nothing to offer! I at least need a mini relationship so I can get a little lovin and to regain a sense of love being out there.

I am finding the same thing over and over again here. Men who are nice, most in school or with an education, they love their family, don't have kids. There are downsides...many of them have just gotten out of relationships. They are confused and if I had to guess, lonely. I don't exactly do well with lonely. I'm not lonely.

I had a coffee thing with a guy who lives really close and we have a fair amount in common. (I have a fair amount in common with them all if you haven't noticed. Probably because I'm well rounded...what what!) He was recently dumped by a really plain looking girl who he was really interested in. Great. So we meet and in the middle of the coffee thing he seems more interested in this table of two women and not in a people watching way. Dude, come on. At least for an hour get to know me. So we haven't talked since then even though he made a point of saying "I will get in touch with you and I'd like to do this again." Don't say it if you don't mean it. So annoying.

The next day I went to a local college basketball game with the Econ guy. I need to stop hanging out with him until we get it straight that we are just friends. Maybe he finally gets it. I haven't figured it out yet. He gave me this strange hug when I got out of my car. Plus I really don't like the fact that he is a smoker. (But it's okay if those neighbor guys are. haha)

This is leading up to there being a dude who I am actually interested in, prior to meeting or anything. He doesn't seem scared to leave the state and appears to actually be doing something with life other than wanting a cushy job in a high rise, he has taken a risk. Made an independent film. Yes, you heard me right...how sexy is that? You can see why prior to our first meeting I am interested. I prefer men who could "do better" than me. I can't imagine I will be able to hold his interest for too long but I am sure as shit going to give it a shot.

A friend of mine has been having issues giving up a relationship with a dude that treats her so bad. She clearly deserves better but puts up with it because of who he is and their "connection." Since I have been there, done that I was thinking about how common it is for women to date the Connection Guy. I'll have to do an entire post on this theory and the fucked of nature of a relationship with the Connection Guy but I have decided I don't want to date another.

2 Smokin Hot Smokers

As a former smoker, I kind of ...hmmmm. Well not only do I notice smoke quite a bit but I also still find something about smoking to be super appealing and kind of sexy. I don't want to be a smoker again. I just want to play with fire, so to speak...every so often. Am I aware smoking isn't sexy? Yes. Do I care? Not really.

There are these two hotties that live in my apartment complex, one in the same building and the other a building over. I find them to both be very sexy and kind of strange. I am stalking them both. They both smoke.

I have put together information I have gathered about the one who lives the building over from what I have observed since I moved in. He drives a BMW and when I first noticed him, he was with a little blonde quite a bit. I also noticed on his nice car a sticker for a local cult...church. Not into the church type. Well she stopped hanging around and the sticker came off of the car. He appears to have a job that he travels a lot for and he has a strange haircut. It's almost too rounded in the back. He seems to spend a lot of time on it, product and such. He smokes before heading to work, outside of his car. Sometimes I want to stand there with him and the dogs, smoking before work. I also wouldn't mind taking a puff of his....well. You can assume.

The second on is new. My assigned spot is right in front of his patio. The dogs and I almost ran into him the other day, he's really cute. Tall. YUM! I like looking into his apartment. I think he should keep his blinds closed. He also smokes outside but what seems to be the most curious is the fact that when someone comes outside he ducks down where no one can see him. WTF? IF you are going to closet smoke, you might want to do it in your home. I don't fully understand.

I'd like to take both of these guys for a spin then have a smoke afterwards. Convenient fucks.

I have a coffee "date" tonight. I have reservations to say the least. These bastards are driving me nuts.

Black Pearl

Yes, I realize this is not my usual blog but shit, yesterday I received a purchase in the mail that I am so in love with! Black Pearl perfume from Lush. They sold it for a day. They only made as much as was ordered. I am in love with it. So sexy and dark. One bottle will not last as long as I need it to. I'm fucked. Thankfully for Christmas I am getting Jean Paul Gaultier Classique. It is new to me as well. I miss my Dior Miss Cherie but I wanted to expand just a bit. See if I can get any positive reactions from these other options.

So OKCupid is so hilarious. Every man on there either plays music or takes pictures. It would be the perfect place to put a band of hot men together. The semi date didn't happen. We talk every day. I have no clue what's going on and I kind of don't care. I'd like to meet him but there are so many hot dudes out there!!

Last week I got a text at 3 in the morning. Thankfully, I didn't actually see that it came through until I woke up. All it said was "*E*?" The number wasn't familiar so I googled the area code. El Paso. I used to know a dude in El Paso. Years ago. He was a piece of shit. I'd long forgotten about him. He was texting me. WHY?????? Why me? Ugh!

He tried to play coy when I pretended I didn't know who Nick was. I acted like a bitch. He said "Look, I wanted to talk to you. Obviously my timing is priceless, but needless to say, I have had you on my mind." Ugh again. Really? Especially when you say "Look." Don't look me, asshole.

Some highlights:
-I helped form him into who he is (please if you are a shitty person..don't tell someone that.)
-He went through a whole bunch of bullshit and said through the entire thing he thought about me (Ew)
-He now has the opportunity to "make real the deals we arranged" Yeah. He means picking up where we left off and trying to work out a relationship

I just really found it all to be quite disturbing. Sometimes you should just drop something. When you have fucked up more than once and gone years without talking to someone, it's probably best to keep it that way. Back in the day I wasn't too good for you. These days, you don't deserve the person I have become. Thank you, please move on.

Proof Internet world, that they always come back. Always.