Change of Heart

Let me first apologize on my lack of commenting on your comments. I can't tell if it's my settings or this computer I use that jack it all to hell but for some reason it doesn't let me respond. SHIT. So if you know what the problem could be, let me know so I can fix it!

Friday was totally crazy when I went to my sisters apartment and she told me about the dramz that happened to her the night before. It totally cured me of wanting to have a FWB. AND I realized it wouldn't solve anything. It isn't what I am looking for and would take away from the little bit of time I currently have to take care of what else is going on in life.

So onto the story. Whoa.

My sister is a few years younger and when she was in her late teens she dated this sleazy ass mother fucker. (Yes she was one of those women who was only as good as who she spread her legs for.) He was so gross. Really controlling. Ugh. We all hated him. Well they broke up and la-te-da and whatever...had a relationship then within the past few months became single. She told me she'd be in contact with this dude and they were just "friends." Ew. We all know what that means. Since I am in charge of her cell phone, I might just call all the numbers that she has called or whatever and block him. Hahaha. Actually this is a great idea. I have all the power!

Thursday night her and a friend went out, got drunk and then came back to her place. She called old dude up for a booty call and her friend was trying to get some dick too I guess. (I'm shaking my head as I type this haha) Friend never finds a piece and is on couch kinda passed out I guess. Dude asks my sister to call her in. You know for a threesome. Sister says, uh you know I'm not into that so I'll pass. Apparently he walks out to the living room after getting some from my sister and decides he wants to have sex with her friend too. Friend accepts his dirty penis into her equally dirty vagina. My sister walks in on them. Let's them stay the night. Excuse me.

Okay what? This chick apparently knew my sister still had feelings for dude. Clearly my sister broke rule number one of a booty call...do not have feelings. HOWEVER, her friend just decided to let anything hit that? On top of it all they didn't use protection! EWWWWWW. So gross. I swear. THIS is the kind of stuff I am talking about. I won't claim to be a virgin. That would be laughable but I can honestly say I have never had sex with a man who any of my friends have been with. Especially in their homes. On their couch. After they'd been with him. With no condom.

Rumor has it my sister is friends with this chick again. To all my ladies, I DARE you to disrespect me like that in my own home. I DARE you to try to have what I have been with and I DARE you to leave out alive. No, we will never be friends again. Wow.

So this was my cure. After realizing like I've kind of indicated I really just want to have one special guy who I focus on, I realized the sex can wait. I do not need that kind of drama that's for sure!

On another note.....I have a major crush. Major. I don't know why I haven't mentioned him on here. Of all places. :) Everyone I know is aware of my "Trader Joe's boyfriend." The tall man who gives me butterflies. I really feel like I shouldn't be so frank on what I feel could happen if I got up the balls to actually say more than just hi to him. I seriously roll my eyes every single time I think about it. It sounds SO dorky. SO creepy but the first time we made eye contact I had the stomach flip. I was standing in Starbucks putting my half and half into my morning coffee as he walked by the window. I thought to myself "Why did my stomach just do that for him?" Then I saw him at Trader Joe's the next week. I feel so silly. I think I am blushing. I swear to you when we made eye contact again it's almost like his stomach did the same thing. The flash across his face was different than anything I'd seen before. This will sound nuts...so I warn you....but....I can't believe I'm going to say this.....sigh.....IF there is such a thing as love at first sight I know this would be it. I'm calling it now! haha.

Yeah, I think I'm going crazy. This is not me.