Oh Life

Today I laughed. One of the guys I was talking with from OKCupid, one who I never met since he apparently wanted a Facebook friend and that is all, I stalked. His Facebook is totally public, so why be friends? Anyway. I was stalking and apparently he had 20 teeth pulled and now has dentures. What? Under 30 with dentures? Can someone please explain this to me? I'll be okay with a man who might be balding, it happens....not his fault but seriously? You can't be bothered to brush your teeth?

Standards people. Ladies, if yo man got dentures, imagine what he's going to look like at 60! Plus. He used the word dentures. Not caps. Not implants. Dentures.

I should mention I have a thing about teeth. Like that's a no go with me if you got jacked up teeth. My sister is the same way. Man must have nice teeth. Sometimes my ex would have red wine teeth and I would be like, no. Not getting any tonight.

On another note. The 5 minute relationship (the one that caused me to lay in bed for 2 days after it ended) dude totally UNBLOCKED me on plenty of fish and then stalked my profile. Come. On. You know, our little fling kinda fucked me up just a speck. I did everything right. We actually had a great relationship (even though it lasted 48 hours) and when you decided I wasn't good enough, I made a new plenty of fish profile. To which you promptly blocked without me knowing. I searched your name. Then 6 months later you decide it's time to unblock me? Just because you feel like being nosey? I'm still single. I'm still on plenty of fish. I'm an even better person since we met which I know is really hard to believe that I could be better than I was. I am. However you are still a dickhead.

Clue: You will never find what you are looking for because it doesn't exist until you get to know yourself. Until you are happy alone. Until you don't rebound with anything that moves. Need I mention your ex WIFE who was a rebound? Who fucking marries a fucking rebound? Then I was her rebound. A tear might fall from my eye and I might mourn your loss if you were better in bed. But you weren't. That's what you get for sleeping with conservative christian virgins!!!

Since I would be scolded for admitting this on my other blog. I've been smoking a few cigarettes a day. Yeah. Only because last week I bought a pack due to high work stress and now I feel like those bastards are burning a hole in the Rubbermaid bin I'm storing them in. I know once they are gone I WON'T buy another pack. Unless you can get re-hooked after 20. Very possible. Just not if you're as amazing as I am.